The Moon and Sun
by hufflepuffluff
Summary: Slytherin Clara Rowley has been raised by her Muggle father in Muggle London since she was 8. Now, as she returns to Hogwarts for her Sixth year, she will have to rely on her friends to get her through the shock of her life. Rated T for language and mild sexuality.
1. Prologue

AN: This story is somewhat AU; Voldemort was defeated for good at Godric's Hollow.

* * *

"Darling, is everything alright?" Lewis Rowley asked Eliza as she climbed into their bed.  
"Yes," his wife replied curtly. She rolled over to face the wall and left Lewis to his thoughts.  
Everything had been perfect when they met, 14 years ago next month. While working at his family's shop in Essex, she had made a habit of coming into the shop once a week to pick up a loaf of bread and a pack of gum. After three weeks, he finally got up the courage to start a conversation with her. He learned that she was 15, a year younger than himself, and that she was going back to school in two weeks.

* * *

"Where do you go to school?" the boy asked nervously. He was small for his age, a little nerdy, but he had promise.  
"It's a small school, in the country."  
"Do you like it?"  
"I do."  
The boy smiled, showing a row of metal and rubber bands. Eliza smiled back, while feeling overwhelmingly thankful that she didn't have to deal with that nonsense to straighten her teeth. They stood there for a moment before Lewis handed her her change. She thanked him and turned to leave.  
"What's your name?" the boy blurted out.  
"Eliza," she smiled over her shoulder, "Yours?"  
"Lewis."

* * *

The following week, he had asked her to see a movie with him that weekend. She had accepted, feeling slightly apprehensive but still hopeful. Lewis had gone home that day and, as Eliza found out years later, danced around his room. He counted the hours until their date, and picked her up at her Grandparent's house at 6pm on Saturday night. They walked downtown and Lewis bought her dinner. They talked through their meal, and neither one of them remembered what film they saw, as they were too busy getting to know each other to pay attention. Lewis knew that night. Eliza did, too, in the back of her mind, but this wasn't what she had planned. She never planned on actually liking the boy three inches shorter than her, who spent his free time reading comic books and working on model trains. This boy who was a complete Muggle in every way. How could she tell him that she wasn't like him, that she studied magic and kept an owl as a pet? This boy who, no matter how hard she tried to pretend otherwise, fit her perfectly. He was sweet, and kind, and a complete suck-up to any and all authority. Eliza, on the other hand, was a textbook Slytherin - ambitious, ruthless, and, yes, sometimes a little bit evil. As he walked her home from the cinema, he slipped his hand around hers. She tensed, before letting herself intertwine her fingers with his.

* * *

Eliza left for school a week later. She had promised to write Lewis, as long as he promised to write back. He had given her a present, a beautiful stationery set accented with the moon and stars, to further make sure she didn't forget. They stood outside of her Grandparent's house that morning, holding hands and making promises. Then, as her Grandfather waited in the car, she had leaned in and kissed Lewis on the cheek. She grinned at his expression, before turning and letting her face fall.  
 _Why_? _Why_ had she done it?  
He was in love.  
And, despite everything, so was she.

* * *

Lewis sighed, staring at the back of Eliza's head. Her dark hair was messy and tangled. He wanted to reach out and smooth it down, run his hands through it. Instead he just turned over. His hand reached under the bed and found his target immediately - he pulled the dusty shoebox out and, careful to stay quiet, pulled the lid off. Inside were dozens of letters, exchanged whilst Eliza was at Hogwarts. The ones from the beginning were the shortest, their envelopes covered in too many stamps. Lewis had assumed that she had overdone the postage because she liked all of the designs and wanted to send them all. Through his anxiety, he smiled to himself. So many letters… weekly letters for three years while Eliza had finished her schooling. The only space missing was three months from the beginning of her Seventh year, after she had finally told Lewis about her school and herself. That had been it, he was convinced at the time. His temper had gotten the best of him and Eliza had left for school without speaking to him.

* * *

"Lewis… I love you. I need to tell you something."  
The couple were sitting in a tree her Grandparent's backyard. Eliza moved from his arms and twisted to face him. She took a deep breath.  
"Anything you say, love. It won't change anything," the young man reassured her before kissing her gently. He had had filled out. Now 18, Lewis' braces had been removed and he had gotten control of his curly hair. Eliza had started helping him pick out clothes, and he had gained muscle from his new job on a farm.  
"I hope not," she sighed. Her hands went to her hair, twisting it around back and pulling at it while her eyes moved from Lewis' to the ground.  
"I promise."  
Eliza let her hair down and took his hands instead.  
"I know I've never told you much about my school. I know you've wondered, and you've asked, and I've never told you much. I'm sorry."  
He shrugged.  
"Well… it's a bit different from your school. From any school, really."  
She swallowed.  
"I'm not training to be a… a banker, or a lawyer, or… anything that you would think of. See, my school… um…"  
Eliza locked eyes with Lewis. She had to do this.  
"I go to a school for witches. Well, and wizards. I'm learning magic. Instead of Maths, or Science, I go to classes for Potions, and Transfiguration, and... "  
Lewis looked like he was either going to burst out laughing or vomit.  
"Lew?"  
He was thinking. Had he heard her right? ' _Oh God, I knew she was too good to be true… she's mental'_.  
"Just say something, I know it's a lot-"  
"A lot? Yeah, Eliza, it's a bloody lot. Are you actually insane? Do you actually think you're a witch? Do you have a stick that you wave - _Abracadabra!_ \- do you-"  
"A wand, Lewis, yes, I have a wand. We all do."  
He shook his head before jumping down.  
"Lew, please, wait."  
He didn't look back until he reached his house.

* * *

Looking back, Lewis found his reaction ridiculous. He had always been a huge fan of fantasy. Here was this girl, this completely breathtaking girl who somehow was in love with him, telling him that these things that he had always dreamed of were real. And he ran away. The first letter he had sent her after it happened was in his hand, and he carefully took it out of the envelope.

 _Eliza,_

 _I love you. I am so, so, so, endlessly sorry for the things I said and the way I reacted. It was a shock… I let myself overreact and probably ruin the best part of my life. But my dear Eliza, I am in love with you. These months without your letters to look forward to have dragged on. My days are long and aimless. I eat breakfast, I go to work, I come home, I eat dinner, I sleep. All day, every day, I long for sleep. You are my reason. I accept you, no matter what has happened in the past and no matter what will happen in the future. The only future I want is one with you in it._  
 _I hope and pray you can forgive me._  
 _I love you more than the moon loves the sun._

 _Your Lewis_

He folded the letter back up and slid it back in its envelope, feeling the tears slip from his tired eyes. Against his better judgement, he pulled out Eliza's reply and unfolded it.

 _My Lewis,_

 _Of course I forgive you, you ridiculous arsehole. I don't have your way with words, I apologize. Yes, your words hurt. But you meant them to. I had to tell you… I knew it would probably happen that way. I appreciate your apology, but it is unnecessary. You said what you said. I thought what I thought, and I will not share those thoughts with you, as I am also very interested in not losing you again._  
 _I don't have much else to say to you, other than I hope you're not scared of owls. As you're now 'in the know', I don't have to bother with idiotic Muggle mail customs._  
 _I love you, you twat._

 _Your Eliza_

Lewis smiled at the parchment in his hand. His Eliza. She would always be his Eliza. He folded the letter up and placed the envelope back in its spot. Quietly, he slid the box back into it's place under the bed and wiped his eyes. They would be okay. He sighed and laid his head on the pillow, finally letting himself fall asleep.

* * *

"Daddy!" Lewis was awakened by the panicked yells of his daughter. He raised his head to see the small girl standing in the doorway.  
"Clara, honey, what's the matter?"  
"Mummy's gone."


	2. Chapter 1

"Darling, are you ready yet? It's time to go," Lewis called up the stairs, to silence. He sighed. Life was so much easier when she was younger.

"I'm ready, dad," Clara said cheerfully, walking into the hallway from the kitchen. Lewis nearly jumped out the door. The 16 year old was the spitting image of her mother at the same age. She wore her dark hair loose, letting it hang in waves to her waist. A small, jeweled headband held the strands out of her face. Her smile was bright and welcoming, and Lewis was terrified of the day when he would hear of her first boyfriend. Would she tell him? Did she have one waiting for her? Did she have more than one? He knew it was coming.

"You love doing that, don't you?"

"I wouldn't if you didn't make it so enjoyable," she grinned before heading out the door. These were her favorite days. To make up for his lack of magical knowledge, Lewis took her to Diagon Alley every other weekend. Sometimes she would do some shopping, but the pair usually just socialized with the shopkeepers and Clara's fellow students. Florean Fortescue, owner an ice cream parlor, had played a huge part in educating Clara and her father. They owed him, and yet he was the one giving them free ice creams.

* * *

Lewis had been surprised by his daughter's powers. She had been a late bloomer, according to Florean; where most magical children start showing signs around 2 or 3, it had taken Clara until she was nearly 10. Lewis could still remember the first time Clara showed magical powers. A year after Eliza had left, Lewis had left his young daughter in the kitchen. She was only coloring at the table, so he felt fine stepping outside to check on his garden. As he bent down to examine some nearly ripe tomatoes, the deafening boom from the kitchen caused him to fall face first in the dirt.

"Clara!" he yelled, before jumping up and running into the house. He slid down the hall and jumped into the kitchen.

"What… what the hell," he couldn't believe his eyes. Even when he had been married to Eliza, she had rarely used magic in front of him. But there, in her chair at the dining table, was Clara, surrounded by colors. Not crayons, or not in their original form, at least. With a perfectly clean Clara at the center, every imaginable color had literally exploded seemingly with the young girl at the epicenter.

"What… what happened?" Lewis asked her.

"This kitchen is so dreary, daddy. The browns, and the whites… I just started wishing it was more colorful, more like my crayons. It was loud, but isn't it pretty?"

Lewis just laughed; he didn't really know what else to do. Here he was, looking at his daughter, _their_ daughter, the perfect image of the love of his life. They had been sure she was non-Magical… it had played a part in Eliza leaving. But now, here was proof. Clara, their daughter, was a witch. Just like her mother.

* * *

Clara tinkered with the radio, quickly finding her favorite alternative station.

"Ah, you kids and your music," Lewis shook his head.

"Yeah, like you didn't introduce me to it all."

Lewis laughed. Clara had shown an early interest in music. For her 10th birthday, she had gotten her very own record player, and it still held a place of honor in her bedroom. To her surprise, the Wizarding world had good music; she was wearing the Weird Sisters t-shirt she had customized today. To Clara, style was very important. Not necessarily following trends and being up to date with the latest fashions, just knowing what you liked and maintaining a distinct personal style. She was fairly notorious around Hogwarts for dress code violations, but nothing ever severe enough to warrant any real punishment beyond a slap on the hand. As a Slytherin, she was fortunate to be on the good side of the school's most hated teacher, Professor Snape. The man was head of Slytherin, and therefore did his best to avoid taking points from his own house. Clara would say that she didn't expect special treatment, but she'd be lying. Her best friend, Pansy Parkinson, had a similar flair for style. She was more of a typical Slytherin, but Clara saw past the hard exterior. She liked to think she brought out the girl's softer side.

Lewis carefully parked along the curb in front of The Leaky Cauldron.

"Is there a spell for parallel parking?" he asked his daughter after nearly taking out a fire hydrant.

"Hmm… I'm not sure if I would tell you if there were, it's too much fun watching you do it the Muggle way," Clara grinned. Lewis tutted and turn the car off.

"That's as good as it's going to get."

* * *

The warm, inviting atmosphere of The Leaky Cauldron was always one of the best parts about these Diagon Alley trips.

"Clara! Lewis!" the older man greeted them from the bar, "Can I get you two anything today?"

"We're off to get our fill of ice cream, sorry Tom! Maybe tonight," Lewis waved as the pair passed through the pub. Clara moved in front of her father and took her wand out of her bag. She tapped three bricks on the wall and they stood back as the doorway to Diagon Alley opened. Lewis was still amazed by this simple but incredible bit of magic, after all these years. Clara smiled at him as they entered the magical shopping center.

"I should be getting my owl next week," Clara noted, more to herself than her father, who nodded.

"Might as well go ahead and pick up a couple of the books, those are usually the same."

They headed to Flourish & Blotts first. The store was fairly empty, and Clara enjoyed it. She knew that next time, it would be packed with Hogwarts students buying their supplies for the school year. Lewis browsed the Herbology section while Clara went off on her own. She quickly found what she was looking for, The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 6), and set off to find the other book on her list. As she turned, she nearly knocked a boy over.

"Sorry!" she apologized, reaching out to catch his book, "Ah, same as mine!"

"Yeah. I thought it might be nice to get a bit of shopping out of the way."

She nodded as she looked up.

"Oh, hi, Harry," she smiled. Harry Potter. She was surprised to see a lack of fangirls on his heels.

"How's your summer going?"

"It's nice. Relaxed. I just got back from France. My uncle had been dying to take me," Harry explained, "How's yours?"

"Not bad. Relaxed, yeah. I've really just been lazy," Clara laughed. The taller boy smiled at her.

"I have to go, but I'll see you at school," Harry waved as he walked off to pay for his book.

"Bye."

Clara understood why Harry had his fans. He was definitely one of the cutest boys in school, probably one of the nicest, too. They had been partners in Potions for years now. Due to house politics, they'd never really talked outside of class, but they did get along. She walked over to where he father was flipping through a small handbook. The poor man tried so hard. Clara appreciated it. She knew it couldn't be easy to try to raise a witch with no knowledge of her world.

"I think I'm going to get this for myself," Lewis announced, holding up the book on magical healing plants.

* * *

After paying for their books, Lewis and Clara made their way down to Florean Fortiscue's Ice Cream Parlor. Clara had barely passed through the door when the man rushed over to wrap her in a hug.

"There's my Clara," he patted her back before releasing her.

"And Lewis!" Florean grasped the man's hand in a strong handshake.

"What'll it be today? We just started selling peanut butter and peaches! It's been quite popular so far."

"That sounds interesting, I'll take a scoop of that," Clara said, peering through the glass at the various flavors.

"And for you?" he asked Lewis.

"I'll take…" he paused, his eyes darting between four flavors, "Krum Kake."

"Perfect!" Florean waved his wand and Lewis watched excitedly as the ice cream seemingly scooped itself, landing in two small cups, perfectly formed. The cups floated out of the case and landed in their outstretched hands.

"Ah, Lewis, I'll never get tired of your excitement!" Florean chuckled, making Lewis slightly more aware of the fact that he was vibrating.

Clara laughed and took a bite of her ice cream, "This is really good."

Florean grinned and bowed dramatically.

"Shall we sit?" Lewis asked, gesturing to the tables.

"Of course," Florean walked to the nearest table and pulled out two chairs before sitting himself.

"So, how's the boring world?"

"Boring. Economic troubles, riots over sporting events, the like. I'm considering just up and moving to this side. Seems much happier."

Florean considered this, before saying, "We do have our fair share of issues. Of course it's nothing like it was when Voldemort was around, thankfully, but we have had a few Quidditch riots."

"I would trade a football riot for a Quidditch riot… bloody idiots. Nearly set the damn arena on fire!" Lewis shook his head, "Anyway, we didn't come here to complain. How's business?"

"Enjoying the calm before the storm. School shopping will start next week, and we always struggle to keep up with the demand, even with magic. But I've hired some extra help and placed some extra charms around to help keep up. It'll be fine. The excitement is always contagious. Clara, you're quiet," Florean set his eyes on the girl.

"Oh, just thinking and listening."

"Ah, you need to stop this thinking business. I remember my days at Hogwarts, you'll be doing far too much thinking. Better give it a rest," the older man grinned.

"Yeah, it's usually not an issue for me. Thinking is kind of an afterthought most of the time."

Lewis laughed, "She gets that from me."

* * *

The pair wrapped up their shopping quickly after the rain started. Clara quickly threw their purchases in the trunk before hopping into the passenger seat.

"I'm going to miss you when you go back to school," Lewis sighed.

"And I'll miss you. You should meet up with Florean some. Maybe invite him over. It might do him good to experience a bit of the Muggle life," Clara smiled.

"That's a good idea… it does get lonely."

Clara almost felt guilty, getting to run away to Hogwarts while her father had to stay and work his dull job and come home to an empty house. He tried so hard to be cheerful for his daughter, but she knew it was hard. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her mother. They had one picture of her in the house, hanging over the dresser in his bedroom. It showed the two of them with 4 year old Clara, and they were all laughing. Such a happy, lovely family. Clara didn't know the whole story about her mother leaving, and she didn't really care to find out. She loved her father, and resented her mother for wanting to hurt him. That was all she needed to know.

* * *

Once they got home, Lewis went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

"I'm going to tidy up some," Clara told him before heading upstairs. She left her purchases in her room before heading into her father's room.

"How do you survive when I'm away?" she whispered to herself as she gathered the dirty clothes from the floor. She threw them in the hamper one by one. A pair of grey trousers peaked out from under the bed, and she yanked on them, also causing a dusty shoebox to slide out. Clara threw the pants into the hamper before bending over to examine the box. She debated for a moment on whether or not to look, but they didn't keep many secrets from each other, so she decided to take a peak. After blowing the dust from the lid, she lifted it off and looked inside. Letters and some newspaper clippings... she was only going to have a quick look, but this was too intriguing. The box in her hands, she listened for noise from the kitchen to confirm that her dad was busy with dinner before delicately lifting out a couple of envelopes. She was about to open one before a note fell out from between the papers. With another glance at the door, she picked up the note and read

 _Lewis_

 _I truly am sorry, to both you and my dear Clara. I really do love you both, and you need to know and believe that. We were so young when we met. I had expectations, both my own and my family's. We are Purebloods. Do you think I went to that Muggle village for the summer expecting to fall in love? If I had, I would never have gone. No, that's not true. I wouldn't change the way the past worked - precious Clara would never be alive if I hadn't gone to stay with my Grandparents. But that's the past. I need to go out and explore, I need to reach my full potential as a Witch. I need to live up to my family's name. With a Muggle family, I'm afraid I cannot fully do that. I had hopes for young Clara, but she seems to be powerless. I really am sorry. Please don't think that I love you two any less. I just need to do this for me._

 _Please don't try to find me. You won't be able to._

 _Your Eliza_

Clara couldn't hold back the tears. It was her fault. She had to be a late bloomer… that was why her mother had left. As their only child, it was Clara's responsibility to make her mother proud, and she had failed. It was all her fault. The fact that her father had to spend so much time alone while his only daughter was away, having a good time. She didn't know why she had thought her mother left, but she'd never expected it to have been her fault. The tears were coming in waves, choking her. She grasped the note and made her way downstairs, before collapsing to the floor in the kitchen doorway.

"Clara! Darling, what is it?" her father was panicked. She held the note out.

"Oh... oh God, Clara, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry," he was on the floor next to her, his arms wrapped around her while she sobbed.


	3. Chapter 2

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Clara asked her father, a few hours after finding the note from her mother.

"Dear, you said you didn't want to know, I wasn't going to go against your wishes like that," Lewis sighed. His daughter was curled into herself on the couch, her eyes red and puffy.

"I know, but…" she trailed off, before shaking her head and closing her eyes.

"Would you like some dinner? I made your favorite."

She glared at her dad. Logically, she knew he was trying to help, but she didn't want to look at the situation logically.

"No, dad, I'm not hungry. I'm going to bed."

Clara stood and turned, before looking back.

"Sorry. I just need some time."

* * *

Everything was different now. In the dark, she laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. All this time, Clara had assumed that it was her father's Muggleness or a lack of affection that had caused her mother to leave all those years ago. But it wasn't. How could the woman have looked at her husband and young daughter and decided that they didn't deserve her love and attention just because they couldn't do magic? She couldn't help but wonder if they would have been fine if Clara hadn't happened. Had they planned for her? Was she an experiment, created to save a dying marriage with her outstanding magical ability that came a year too late? She was crying again. Maybe if her mother had left before Clara was old enough to remember her, it wouldn't have been as bad. But no, she had waited until the girl was 8 years old, full of love to give to her mother. Even as a child, Clara could remember the expectant look on her mother's face every morning. Now she knew why.

* * *

The morning came slowly. Clara had barely slept, despite her sore, swollen eyes. Everything hurt. Lewis came in several times to check on her, and each time she pretended to be asleep. He would sit on the edge of the bed and look at her, smooth her hair, and leave. Maybe talking would help, but she didn't have the energy for that. Around noon, she finally decided to sit up. Her immediate, piercing headache almost caused her to pass out. A glass of water sat on her nightstand, left by her father during the night, so she sipped the lukewarm water until she felt somewhat better. With a sigh, she stood and looked in the mirror. Her dark hair was matted to her head, the waves now bent and sticking out in odd places, and her face was red and puffy. Before venturing out of her room, she brushed her hair out quickly and pulled it into a bun. She walked out into the hall and stopped by the washroom to splash cold water on her face. It helped, slightly.

"Darling," Lewis rose from the couch and walked over to give his daughter a warm hug.

"Hi, dad."

He pulled away to look at her, "Oh, Clara. I'm so sorry you found out that way. If you would like to talk about it, I am always here, but I understand if you don't want to."

Clara shook her head and sat on the couch.

"I'll make you some tea," her father left for the kitchen.

She couldn't take it out on him. As much as Clara wanted to, he was just as hurt by her mother's abandonment. He was all she had, and she couldn't let her mother pull them apart. While she wasn't ready to talk about it, she also wasn't going to shut him out. Before Clara could talk herself out of it, she walked into the kitchen and gave her father a hug.

* * *

The next week passed. There were tears shed, a month's supply of tea drunk, and more hugs than Clara had received in her entire 16 years. She could not wait to return to Hogwarts, to be with her friends and forget about her home problems. On Friday morning, the girl was awakened by a tapping on her window.

"Finally!" she grinned, before jumping out of bed and rushing to the window. She pulled it open and the dark grey owl landed on the windowsill. He stuck out his leg and offered Clara the letter attached.

"Thank you, sir," she curtseyed as she untied the string. As soon as his job was finished, the owl took flight. Clara closed the window and sat on her bed to read her letter and supply list.

"Let's go early," Lewis decided. Clara was standing in the kitchen with her father, reading him her supply list.

"Are you sure? You don't need to go to work?" she asked.

"I haven't used one sick day this year… I think this is a worthy cause. It's been a tough week for us. Are you up to it?"

Clara just smiled and nodded.

Lewis walked over to the telephone mounted on the wall and coughed hard.

"Have to get the voice right, you see," he grinned at his daughter, before dialing his office.

Clara returned to her bedroom and looked through her wardrobe. After deciding on an outfit, she quickly got dressed and brushed her hair. Lewis had finished his phone call and was waiting outside of his bedroom.

"Ready?"

"Yes… we need to stop by Gringotts, as well. My purse is a bit light."

Her father sighed, "Do you make it disappear?"

"No magic outside of Hogwarts, dad. It's all going to good use, I promise," she grinned.

* * *

They made it to The Leaky Cauldron by noon. After a quick visit with Florean, who was now much busier with the first of the students, Clara worked through her list. She was finished within two hours. On their way back through The Leaky Cauldron, the pair stopped and ate an early dinner.

"Clara, thank you for not being too upset with me."

She looked up from her burger, "I'm not going to say I wasn't angry. But I understand why you didn't tell me."

Lewis smiled.

"Oh well, it's her loss, isn't it? She's off who knows where, while we're here, getting free ice creams," Clara enjoyed seeing her father happy. She was willing to push aside some of her negativity to cheer him up.

Lewis and Clara were home before dark. They spent the evening relaxing in front of the television, watching pointless comedies. Clara was sprawled on the couch, flipping through her new school books, while Lewis was sitting in his armchair.

"I hope our new Defense professor is nice," Clara voiced, "Last year's was a nightmare."

"What happened to her?"

"Oh… I'm not sure. She vanished. A few students saw her going towards the Forbidden Forest, but after that, who knows."

"That's awful," her father looked shocked.

"Not really. Atrocious woman."

* * *

Clara's final week at home was uneventful. She spent most of her time packing or reading bits of her new books. While she wasn't a top student, she did like to be prepared, and she was still fascinated by the information she learned. It made sense that a Muggle-born, Hermione Granger, was the top student in school. The Purebloods were usually bored by the school subjects, but the students from Muggle backgrounds were enthralled by the new way of life. She enjoyed all of her classes, but her absolute favorite was Transfiguration. Taught by the head of Gryffindor house, Professor McGonagall, it wasn't popular among her fellow Slytherins, but Clara was not shy about how idiotic she found this to be. The old woman was fantastic, and she made the already interesting subject completely captivating. One day before the train would leave King's Cross Station, Clara had already finished several chapters in her copy of A Guide To Advanced Transfiguration.

* * *

For her last dinner before leaving, Lewis made his daughter her favorite meal - roast beef and potatoes. As they sat at the dining table, Clara made her father make some plans for the year. She refused to let him do nothing but work and sleep.

"Darling, I'll be fine," he promised.

"I don't want you to be _fine_ , dad, I want you to have a good time! Surely you could go out with people from work once in a while?"

"There is Jim... " Lewis looked thoughtful.

"See? Invite good old Jim over! Go out to a pub… just please don't sit around the house alone all year. Promise me?" Clara gave him the look - it had paid for more than half of her wardrobe.

"Alright," he sighed, smiling, "I will try. Don't think that gets you out of sending me weekly letters, though."

"Oh, heavens, no! Never," his daughter faked a horrified expression and laughed.

"You're okay, aren't you?" Lewis went serious.

Clara shrugged, before nodding, "Yeah. I can't just dwell on what has already happened. I'll drive myself insane. That goes for both of us."

Her father nodded, "I know. We have each other. That's enough for me."


	4. Chapter 3

After what seemed like the longest summer in history, it was finally September 1st. Clara's trunk was packed and they were on their way to King's Cross Station.

"You're sure you didn't forget anything?" Lewis asked her.

"Yes. Not that we'd have time to go back and get it now."

"You have a point."

Clara laughed. She sang along with the songs playing on the radio while they drove. While she missed her dad while she was at school, she had to admit that it was nice to have her own time around people her own age. In the Muggle world, she didn't really have any friends. She was the weird girl who went to some unknown boarding school. Most of the local teenagers didn't have time to deal with her.

* * *

Lewis parked their car in one of the only free spots and helped Clara carry her trunk inside. People crowded them on every side. Neither one of the Rowleys were particularly fond of people, especially crowds, so they made their way to Platforms 9 and 10 as quickly as possible. A few other families were waiting around the area, most acting far too nonchalant. One taller man was remarking to his daughter about how lovely the grey floor was.

"Well, here we are," Lewis choked out.

"God, dad, we've been through this!" Clara smiled, her own eyes getting watery.

"Shush. Just hug your father."

They hugged for a moment, then Clara took her trunk by the handle from her dad.

"I love you," he patted her shoulder.

"I love you, too, dad."

Clara grinned at her teary father and turned, facing down the brick partition. This part always made her nervous. She looked around to make sure no Muggles were paying attention before breaking into a run straight towards the wall. The relief on her face once she had successfully passed through was always noticed by her fellow students. A small girl, who could have passed for a First Year but who Clara knew was actually a Third Year, happened to be standing nearby, watching the incoming students.

"Still scary, isn't it?" she giggled.

"One more year to go after this, we'll see if I finally catch on," Clara smiled at the girl.

"Clara!" she looked up to see the pale, dark haired girl waving at her from a nearby compartment, "It's about time!"

Clara rushed over to the door, trying to beat the herd of students behind her.

"Sorry, my dad, you know how he is," she shook her head, smiling.

"I missed you!" Pansy wrapped her arms around her best friend. Clara hugged her back. It was always a little uncomfortable, hugging Pansy - she was naturally very thin, and Clara always felt as though she might break her friend.

"You're the one who didn't send me any letters, what was that about?" Clara asked in mock anger.

"Sorry, we were on vacation in Italy! It was beautiful, but the owls had a hard time finding us."

It took a moment for Clara to register that sitting next to Pansy was Draco Malfoy. He was a fellow Slytherin, but he was definitely one of the more hated students at Hogwarts.

"Oh, um… hello, Draco," Clara greeted the boy politely.

Pansy gave her a look that told her the tone of her greeting was a little less than friendly.

"So… what… what's going on here?"

"Draco and his family were vacationing at the same Villa. It was such a coincidence! We never talked a lot at school, but we spent quite a bit of time together," Pansy raised an eyebrow suggestively, "and I don't know… we just clicked."

"Ah. That's…" _creepy_ , she wanted to say, "wonderful!"

The Malfoys were an interesting bunch. She knew that Draco's father, Lucius, had been a Death Eater during Voldemort's reign. While they claimed to be reformed now, Clara was always a little skeptical of the family. It seemed to her that once you're one of the most evil wizard of all time's groupies, you never can fully redeem yourself. She saw the blond boy move his hand to Pansy's bare knee and resisted the urge to swat it away. Once they were alone, she was definitely going to talk to the girl about choices.

"My father said that, as well," Draco Malfoy was saying, "the Muggles are absolutely ridiculous. It's about time we got our own train station. Just last week, I went there with my father…"

Clara was trying desperately to drown the boy's whiny voice out. He talked about his father far too much for a 16 year old boy. Was he completely devoid of any independent thinking? It wouldn't surprise her. She sighed, probably a bit too loud. Pansy was easily one of the most beautiful girls in school. At 5'7, with ridiculously long legs that she loved to flaunt and an already well-developed figure, most of the boys (and quite a few of the girls) were infatuated with her. And then she goes and picks out this obnoxious ferret boy? It was insane, and she was going to give Pansy a piece of her mind in just a couple of hours.

"Clara, are you there?" Pansy was snapping her fingers next to her friend's ear.

"What? Sorry," Clara cleared her throat and sat up straighter.

"We were just saying, Draco has a lot of single friends. We should double date! It'll be so much fun. Next Hogsmeade trip, yes?"

Clara opened her mouth to say, _No, thanks, The-Boy-With-Infinite-Daddy-Issues_ , but instead just smiled and said, "Yes, that'd be lovely." _Damn it, Clara._

* * *

For the rest of the train ride, Clara had stayed mostly silent. She had learned her lesson. Pansy and her little Draco had been fairly light on the affection, which Clara was thankful for. She didn't know if she could stomach the sight of them kissing. It was bad enough remembering how Pansy had raised her eyebrow at the fact that they had spent a lot of time together. The girl had always been a bit more… adventurous, but Clara had hoped she'd had enough sense to avoid trash. Unfortunately, she knew how Pureblood families worked, and both the Parkinsons and the Malfoys were filthy rich. This did not bode well for Clara's best friend.

* * *

They had changed into their house robes and gathered their things, and were ready to go as soon as the train doors opened. The stampede of eager students was almost deadly, so they had learned to beat most of the crowd. The gamekeeper, Hagrid, was waiting at the platform, showing the younger kids where to go and helping to get them situated. Clara, Pansy, Draco, and Draco's large, seemingly silent friend Goyle all climbed into one of the horseless carriages that would take them up to the castle.

"It feels so good to be back," Clara grinned at Pansy, ignoring their company. The familiar castle stood on the top of a hill, surrounded by the Black Lake. Light shone from every window, casting a warm, yellow glow on every nearby surface. As much as she missed her father, Hogwarts was her home. She belonged in the Wizarding world. While they rode up the path to the school, she could see the First Years riding to the castle in their boats. The carriages were fine, but Clara wished that they could all sail to school.

The carriages pulled up in front of the front doors in a single file line. Clara hopped out first, followed by Pansy and Draco, who refused to stop holding hands for anything, and Goyle, watching the blond boy's back. She had determined that the poor boy was in love with Draco, and had accepted a life of serving his master in order to be close to his love. Why else would he be okay with following the wanker around everywhere he went? Clara immediately forgot about her problems with Draco as they walked through the front doors and into the castle. She was home.

* * *

After everyone had been accounted for, the Second Years and up had been allowed into the Great Hall to seat themselves for the Welcoming Feast. Clara had been walking towards their usual spot near the front of the table, but Pansy grabbed her hand and pulled her to the back, towards Draco's place. She followed quietly, not wanting to ruin Pansy's night and drag her away from her precious. They sat for a few minutes, making small talk with the students nearby, before they were stopped by the sound of the giant doors opening again. In walked dozens of First Years, looking around the massive hall in awe. Clara smiled; she remembered the feeling, especially after her Muggle childhood, but not even the Pureblood children were immune to the breathtaking sight of the ceiling, which mimicked the outdoor sky. Candles floated over the tables, providing lots of warm lighting for the students to see by. The First Years seemed to get smaller every year.

Once the Sorting Hat had sung his song and the First Years had been sorted and seated with their new houses, it was time for Headmaster Dumbledore's annual speech and the introduction of the Professors.

"We welcome all of our students, both new and returning! How wonderful it is to see such promising young witches and wizards filling our school."

"Ah, new victims!" Draco laughed with his groupies. Clara shot Pansy a look, and the girl actually looked sorry.

"He's a bit rough, but trust me, you'll warm up to him," Pansy whispered.

Clara nodded. She had her doubts. Draco continued to discuss various methods of torture and bullying while the Headmaster went through the list of rules and restrictions. Clara continued to be shocked that Pansy could ever be attracted to someone as awful as Draco, and wondered if an intervention would be out of the question.

"And now that you are all aware of how to earn and keep your house points, let me introduce your Professors for this year," the Headmaster began at the left end of the staff table, "Professor Snape will be your Potions master. Our Slytherin students will also want to remember that he is your Head of House, so any concerns or issues concerning your house or housemates can be brought to him."

The dark Professor looked bored with the entire process.

"Professor McGonagall will be teaching Transfiguration," Dumbledore continued.

"When will the old bag retire? She's looking very worn," Draco noted snidely. Clara glared at him, but he either ignored her or just didn't notice.

"Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor seems to have gotten held up -" the Headmaster was cut off by the sound of the back door opening. A tall, slender, vaguely familiar woman walked in and began apologizing to Dumbledore immediately.

"And here she is! Teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this year is Professor Eliza Lisney."

The wizard gestured the new Professor. Clara was suddenly dizzy.

"Clara, what's the matter, are you alright?" Pansy was alarmed at her best friend's face, which had lost all color, "Clara… _CLARA_."

The girl turned and looked towards her friend, her eyes darting to various faces in the room. Everyone was applauding the new Professor.

"That's… t-t-the woman…" Clara stuttered. Pansy grabbed her friend's hand, worried for her.

"Yes?"

"It's… she's my…"

"Thank you, Headmaster! I have missed the school."

"That's my mother."


	5. Chapter 4

The feast passed in a blur. Clara ate very little, and mostly just picked at the mashed potatoes on her plate. Thoughts were running through her head faster than she could process them.

 _How would she tell her dad?_

 _Should she tell her dad?_

 _Would her mother recognize her?_

 _Surely she'd recognize her name._

 _What if she didn't?_

 _Would she talk to her?_

 _How would the other students react?_

"Clara, come on," Pansy had grabbed her friend's hand and was trying to pull her out of her daze. She stood up and followed the mass of Slytherins down to their common room, relying on Pansy's guidance.

"Talk to me."

Clara suddenly realized that they were in an empty corridor. She slowly made her way to a stone bench and sat.

"I don't know what to do," she told Pansy.

"Well… maybe there's another Eliza Lisney in the world."

Clara shook her head, "No. I've seen her, Pansy, she didn't leave till I was eight. I remember enough to know that that is my mother."

"Maybe… maybe she won't know you?"

"I don't know. My dad says I look just like she did at 16. Plus, how many Clara Rowleys have you met?"

Pansy sighed.

"I can't do anything about it tonight. Tomorrow when we find out our class schedules, I'll deal with it."

"Will you? Sweetie, I love you, I really do, but you're the least Slytherin Slytherin I have ever met. Can you promise me that you won't just… shut down?"

"I won't. Besides, I expect to have my evil twin to counteract my general lack of…"

"Balls?" Pansy finished. Clara gave a small laugh and nodded.

"That works."

* * *

After a hot shower, Clara changed into her pajamas and returned to the girls' dormitory. She climbed under the emerald green blankets and tried to quiet her mind. Instead, her thoughts returned to the note she had found in her father's bedroom. Instead of sadness, she felt as though she should focus on how wonderful it would feel to show the woman who had abandoned her as a child over her lack of magic that she was now quite talented. Second only to Transfiguration, defensive magic was Clara's strongest subject. She tried to imagine shocking her mother with elaborate shows of skill, but instead dwelled on how it would feel to meet the woman after nearly 10 years. Her father would be expecting a letter to confirm that she had made it safely to school and gotten settled, but she didn't know what to tell him. After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning, she heard Pansy sigh from her bed a few feet away. Before she could turn and see what was wrong, she felt her best friend climb into bed with her and wrap her arms around her.

* * *

Clara had managed to get a few hours of decent sleep. The two girls had woken up at the same time and remained silent as they got ready for the day. Pansy knew when to stop and let her friend think. They had walked up to the Great Hall together and sat at their usual spot at the Slytherin table.

"Where's Draco?" Clara asked, breaking their silence.

"Oh, he's around. You need me more today."

Clara smiled and poured herself a bowl of cereal.

"Rowley, Parkinson," Professor Snape had walked up behind them with their schedules, "Morning."

"Good morning, Professor Snape," Clara greeted the Head of House.

"We had Defense together…" Pansy was comparing their schedules while Clara ate.

"When?"

"Um… first class of the day."

Clara nearly choked on her Owl-O's. Pansy grimaced.

"Are you joking? Please tell me you're joking," she shook her head as she took the sheet of parchment from Pansy's hand.

"Oh, it's _bloody_ perfect. God, this year is going to be so bloody fantastic."

Pansy rubbed her friend's back, "It'll be fine. I'll be right there with you, whatever happens."

With a sigh, Clara laid her head on the girl's shoulder.

"Um… we may want to get a move on. The class starts in 20 minutes."

* * *

Students shuffled past them as they slowly made their way to the third floor. Pansy never let go of Clara's hand. Once they had reached the classroom, they paused outside the door. After a quick hug and a reassuring smile, Pansy led Clara to their usual desk.

"Welcome, Sixth years!" Professor Lisney smiled after all of the students had arrived and seated themselves. Clara kept her head down.

"Please go easy on me, this is my first class. Glad to see all of you Slytherins. I myself was a Slytherin in my days at Hogwarts. Now, just to make sure I remember all of your names and faces, when I call your name, please stand."

"Bloody hell," Clara's head made contact with her desk.

"Bulstrode, Millicent." The large black haired girl stood.

Pansy rubbed her best friend's back reassuringly.

"Crabbe, Vincent."

"Should I stand?" Clara asked Pansy in a whisper.

"Of course, you'll just stand out more if you don't."

"Davis, Tracey."

Clara sighed.

"Goyle, Gregory."

She didn't know if she should be thankful that she was near the end of the list or not.

"Greengrass, Daphne."

Pansy was eyeing Professor Lisney. She decided that the woman looked pleasant enough, but that she was not going to let her say a single bad word to Clara.

"Malfoy, Draco."

The blond boy stood, before looking back at Pansy. He gave Clara a disapproving look.

"Nott, Theodore."

"Oh, God," Clara was sure this was what a panic attack felt like.

"Parkinson, Pansy."

Her stood.

"R-rowley, Clara?" the woman's eyes were large.

Clara stood, keeping her eyes on her desk until Pansy poked her in the side. She made eye contact with her mother, who seemed to instantly make the connection. It took her a moment to recover.

"Zabini, Blaise." She sat down the parchment and looked around the room. Her eyes lingered on Clara, who was now staring at her.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you all," she said before sitting at her desk, "If you would turn to page 14 of your books, we will start today's lesson on Dementors."

The class passed slowly, but without incident. Clara had already read the chapter and spent most of the class writing notes to Pansy on the parchment between them.

 _She obviously recognized you._

 _I know._

 _Are you going to say anything to her?_

 _Of course not._

 _Are you sure?_

 _Yes. She didn't care what I thought when she left, I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of winning me back._

 _Good._

"Well, I think we've covered a good amount today. Class is dismissed, enjoy the rest of your day. Oh, Miss Rowley, could you come see me before heading out?"

Clara's breathing stopped and she looked to Pansy.

"I.. I'll wait for you?" she gave Clara's hand a quick squeeze, "I can take your books."

"It's fine. I'll carry them. I'll be out in a minute," Clara stood and walked over to where her mother sat.

"Miss Rowley," her face lit up, "Clara."

"Yes, you wanted to see me?" Clara replied curtly.

"Yes… do you recognize me?"

Clara waiting a moment before answering. Saying no would hurt her, and she wanted to hurt this terrible woman who had broken her father's heart.

"Yes."

 _Damn it, Clara._

"I hoped you would. How… how is your father?"

"He's grand." she replied, keeping her voice monotone.

The woman nodded, "And how are you?"

"I'm here."

"I see you've become quite the witch," her mother tried and failed to hide the look of pride on her face.

"I have, no thanks to you. Did you need anything else?" Clara asked.

"Oh… um, no. I suppose that was it. Have a good day, Clara."

"You, as well," Clara sighed, already turning to leave.

"I'm glad to see you."

Clara ignored Professor Lisney's words.

* * *

The day's classes passed. Pansy and Clara sat together when they could, but very little was said. Clara wasn't going to discuss her mother, not yet at least. She was still trying to figure out how she was going to make it through the year. At dinner, Clara willingly sat with Draco and Pansy. The front of the table no longer seemed appealing, with it's clear view of the staff table and her mother happily chatting away with her fellow Professors.

"Potter made a complete ass of himself in Potions, it was brilliant," Draco was saying while his groupies laughed. Clara had noticed, despite the distractions, that if there was one subject Draco liked to talk about more than his father, it was Harry Potter.

The one positive that had come from the day was that Pansy was largely ignoring her boyfriend. Once Clara had met up with Pansy outside of Defense Against the Dark Arts, the girl had been sloppily making out with her Draco.

"Excuse me, can I borrow my friend?" Clara had asked, already at the end of her rope after talking to her mother.

"So, that's your mum?" Draco had grinned as soon as he had released Pansy from his tentacles.

"Yes. Do you care?"

"I do when she's that hot."

Clara had almost slugged him. Pansy grabbed her hand and pulled her away, without a word to her boyfriend.

Later that night, after most of the students were in bed, Clara and Pansy sat together on one of the dark leather sofas in the Slytherin Common Room.

"She actually expected me to be thrilled to see her, I think," Clara had just told Pansy all about her awkward meeting.

"I mean, I understand wanting to see you and know that you're alright."

"I know," Clara groaned, "But I need time before I can have a real conversation with her. I had hours between finding out that my mother was going to be my bloody teacher and seeing her for the first time in years."

"Yeah. I get that."

"Pansy?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for making today a little less terrible."


	6. Chapter 5

"I swear, if I hear one more word about his father I am going to Crucio him," Pansy was seething after their last class of the day.

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that," Clara grinned. The friends were on their way back to the Slytherin common room. Draco had spent the entire Transfiguration class whining about how the Hogwarts house elves improperly made his bed. After he mentioned how his father would never let their house elf treat them to such shoddy work, Clara had focused all of her attention on Professor McGonagall.

"It's just… I know we've said a lot of bad things about him, but this summer he was just… so wonderful," Pansy shook her head, "It's like being here just reduces him to the whiny twat that he's always been."

"I don't know, it's hard to imagine him being good enough for you. You need to set your sights higher than Mister Daddy Issues."

"Rude!" Pansy laughed.

"The truth hurts, my dear," Clara smiled, "Besides, do you really want to be Pansy Malfoy?"

She visibly shuddered, "Oh God. Maybe we were just destined for summer love."

"Please do not insinuate that you are or were at any point in love with that toad."

"Fine. Summer… shenanigans."

Clara looked at her friend, holding back a laugh, "Okay. I'll take it."

* * *

At dinner, Clara and Pansy sat away from Draco and his groupies. This pleased Clara.

"I have my best friend back," she grinned, hugging her friend tightly.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't ruin my image. I need to present myself as the untouchable ice queen of Hogwarts," said Pansy seriously, but a smile tugged at the edges of her mouth.

"Right."

Clara ate more that night than she had since arriving at school. Since her mother's class, she had decided not to let it ruin her time at Hogwarts. Instead of worrying about what would happen in class tomorrow, she had already read ahead her book and was determined to retain her nearly perfect grades.

"You've got to be joking… he's coming over," Pansy groaned. Mouth full of mashed potatoes, Clara looked up to see the blond wizard striding over to them.

"Pansy, darling, I hate it when we fight," Draco was using the most sickeningly sincere voice she had ever heard.

"Do you?" Pansy replied, going back to her dinner.

"Sweetie, look at me."

"Okay. Draco, don't ' _sweetie'_ me and we'll be okay. Okay?"

"I'm sorry," his eyes were wide and he was almost pouting.

"Can you let us eat? We can talk later but right now I'm talking to my best friend."

"Oh… alright. I'll see you later, then," Draco looked at Clara, his eyes narrowing for a split second before returning to his wounded puppy act.

"Such a winner, that one. I definitely know why you fell for him," Clara remarked after he had returned to his seat.

"Shush. Like I said, he was a different person."

* * *

Clara and Pansy spent their evening in the dormitory, doing their homework on Pansy's bed. Draco had taken up residence on one of the couches in the Common Room. The two girls had been lucky to walk in right before Goyle had accidentally set fire to his homework and distracted Draco.

"I don't understand why we have to write this much about why to avoid Venomous Tentacula… it's venomous, leave it alone, you'll be fantastic," Pansy groaned as she unrolled her parchment.

"Mine's finished, you can borrow from it if you'd like," Clara pulled it from her bag and handed it over.

"I love you."

* * *

Once the rest of the Sixth year girls had joined them in the dormitory, they gathered their books and repacked their bags.

"Are you gonna be okay tomorrow?" Pansy asked her best friend quietly. She smiled nervously, "Yeah. I'll have you. At least it doesn't seem like she hates me."

"Why would she? If anything, you should hate her."

"I don't know, she could resent me for ruining her marriage."

"Clara," Pansy was shaking her head, "You did not ruin her marriage. She did that herself. You have every right to despise that woman."

"I know," Clara wiped her eyes, before being pulled into a tight hug.

"Hey, I know you're having a moment, but can I say something?"

The two girls looked up to see Daphne Greengrass sitting on the edge of her bed. Clara nodded.

"I remember when we were all First Years. You used to cry at night, I could always hear you through the curtains. You wouldn't tell any of us what was wrong. Then Pansy seemed to get through to you," Daphne sighed, "I remember when you told us. You made a group of Slytherins cry, Clara."

They were laughing.

"I remember that. Even Millicent was choked up," Pansy shook her head.

"God, I remember my first train ride. I was with Gryffindors and they spent hours telling me about how awful Slytherin was. By the time we'd gotten to Hogwarts I was completely terrified," Clara gave a sharp laugh and sniffled.

"You walked over to our table and your eyes were massive," Tracey Davis laughed as she walked over from her bed on the other side of Pansy's.

"I was expecting you all to jinx me as soon as I was sorted!" Clara explained.

"Bloody Gryffindors. We're not all Death Eaters…" Tracey sighed as she sat next to Daphne, who nodded before saying, "The point is, Clara, we're going to protect you."

This brought on another wave of tears from the girl.

"We're all here. Tomorrow we will walk into Defense together. We won't let Professor Lisney do a damn thing to you," Pansy promised. Tracey and Daphne walked over to Clara's bed and the three girls pulled her into a hug.

After they had all returned to their own beds and the lights were out, Clara decided to finally write a letter to her father. She could take it by the Owlery in the morning.

 _Dad,_

 _Sorry for not writing you sooner, the Professors have been piling on the assignments. Everything has been going well. I hope you've left the house for something other than work. You promised! I miss you. The food here is good, but it doesn't compare to yours._

 _I have to get to sleep, but I'll be writing again soon._

 _Love,_

 _Clara_

She made the decision to not tell him about her mother quite yet. After folding the parchment and placing it in an envelope, she laid it on her nightstand and closed her eyes.

* * *

AN: Shorter chapter this time around, just to build more of a sisterhood within Slytherin. Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 6

Clara awoke the next morning feeling better than she had since arriving at Hogwarts. It was early, and the other girls were all still asleep, so she stretched and stayed put. Today was going to be fine. She would go to class, be a good student, and that would be that. There didn't need to be any problems, she decided. The woman had been a stranger to her for years, and just because she was now Clara's Professor meant little. She was no different from any of the others; Professor Flitwick had been teaching Clara for 6 years now, but they didn't really acknowledge each other outside of the classroom. If Professor Lisney expected Clara to call her mum or otherwise show her any affection, that was her problem. As far as Clara was concerned, all of the woman's motherly privileges had been forfeited as soon as she had stepped out the door of their home.

* * *

The other girls had begun to stir, so Clara quietly got out of bed and dressed. It was a decent walk to the Owlery but if she hurried she could make it back before breakfast. She took the letter from her nightstand and headed out to the Common Room.

"Ah, Rowley," Draco Malfoy was sitting on one of the black leather sofas. _Had he stayed there all night?_

"Malfoy," Clara nodded towards him.

"Is Pansy up yet?"

"No. If I were you, I'd leave her alone. She will come to you when she wants."

"I don't even know what she's upset about," Draco pouted.

"Well," Clara paused, knowing she shouldn't say anything but still having to resist the urge, "I must be going."

She exited the room quickly and entered the cool dungeon corridor. Very few students were loitering around the castle and it didn't take long for her to reach the West tower. She looked around for a moment, before deciding on a small, tawny owl perched across the room.

"Good morning," she greeted the bird before quickly tying her letter to it's leg.

"Lewis Rowley, in London," she told the owl. It flapped it's wings and took off. After watching fly through one of the open windows, she turned and made her way back down to the Great Hall.

* * *

Pansy was waiting for her, along with Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis.

"How early were you up?" Daphne asked through a yawn.

"Not very. I just had to mail a letter," Clara shrugged before loading up her plate with eggs and sausage.

"Glad to see your appetite's back," Pansy noted, "Draco caught me this morning."

Clara looked up at her friend, "I figured he would. He was still waiting up for you when I left this morning."

"That boy is mad… my sister is infatuated with him. Can't imagine why, I've tried telling her all of the horror stories. He makes Slytherins look bad, and we had Voldemort!" remarked Daphne, shaking her head.

"He wanted to talk. I told him I had to use the loo and I'd be back. He's probably still waiting," Pansy said happily as she spread jam on her toast.

Clara laughed and the girls went silent as they ate. Soon the hall was full of the sounds of students preparing for the day's classes. Occasional bangs from the Gryffindor table echoed off the walls.

"Quarter till," Pansy sighed, checking her watch, "Time for Clara's Army to assemble."

They laughed nervously and collected their things.

* * *

Pansy took Clara's hand and didn't let go until they were seated. Professor Lisney was writing on the chalkboard and didn't see the girls come in.

"Such a waste of good girl power," Pansy said in mock disappointment.

"It made me feel better," Clara reassured her friend, who smiled and took out her book.

Professor Lisney turned and, after going down her list of students and confirming everyone's attendance, cleared her throat.

"Today we will be learning about the Patronus charm. It is your only defense against Dementors, and I'm sure you all remember how nasty they are from your last lesson."

Clara laid out a small bit of parchment between herself and Pansy for their conversation.

 _Draco's not here,_ wrote Pansy in green ink. Clara looked around and noticed the empty seat next to Goyle.

 _Probably still waiting for you._

"On page 24, you will find all of the information on this spell. What it does is create a visible manifestation of your happiness. As we learned, Dementors feed on unhappiness, misery, and pain. The Patronus, therefore, gives them nothing to go on. Who can tell me what a Patronus looks like?" Professor Lisney paused, waiting, before, "Yes, Miss Granger?"

Pansy immediately wrote, _of course._

Clara grinned, but she had to respect the Gryffindor's shameless love of learning.

"It depends on the witch or wizard who casts it."

"Correct. Thank you, Miss Granger."

 _Mine's probably a sloth,_ Clara wrote on their parchment. Pansy gave a quiet chuckle. Professor Lisney continued on for an hour, explaining how to cast a Patronus. She ended the lesson with a demonstration of her own.

"Expecto patronum!" she cried, making a ghostly Owl fly from the tip of her wand. It circled the classroom before dissolving into a mist. The class applauded.

"Of course, when you practice casting your own Patronuses next lesson, it won't look quite like that yet. It takes years of practice to achieve a perfectly formed shield. Until we see each other again, consider your homework to be finding the perfect, happiest memory you can think of. It needs to be strong. As an example, I think of the day my darling Clara was born," the Professor gave her daughter a warm smile.

A quiet murmur went through the room.

"Class is dismissed. I look forward to our next meeting."

Students began standing and gathering their things.

"Clara?" Pansy eyed her friend, who was glaring at the Professor, completely transfixed.

"No," Clara whispered.

"Clara, don't let her get to you."

" _No_ ," Clara said, much louder this time. Her mother turned.

"No, _Professor_ , you don't get to say that _that_ is your happiest memory. If that was truly your happiest memory, you wouldn't have left dad and me. You are a liar."

"Clara," Pansy whispered.

"No, Pansy," Clara snapped, "This _woman_ thinks she gets to come here and claim me? After all these years of not even knowing if she was still _alive_? No."

The students were frozen, all of them looking from Clara to Professor Lisney.

"You will not disrespect me in my classroom, Miss Rowley," her mother proclaimed.

Clara scoffed, "I have absolutely no respect for you, bitch."

The students decided this was a good time to evacuate and scrambled out the door.

" _Detention,_ Miss Rowley. Tomorrow evening. You'd best not be late."

* * *

"As your best friend, I need to remind you that calling your professor 'bitch' is frowned upon," Pansy was telling Clara as they walked to their next class.

"I shouldn't have lost my temper," Clara sighed.

"Like hell, the woman was egging you on. She had to have been expecting it."

They separated to walk around a couple who were snogging noisily in the middle of the corridor.

"I don't know. I was going to make an effort," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Darling, you might have gone a bit too far, but you're my hero."

* * *

After classes, Clara and Pansy walked down to the Black Lake. It was a warm day and they wanted to get some sun before Autumn was in full swing.

"Everyone's talking about it," Pansy grinned.

"Oh, God, don't tell me that," Clara buried her head in her hands. She had gone five years without embarrassing herself. It seemed cruel of the universe to ruin her perfect record so close to her graduation.

"Why not? You even took my mind off of His Royal Dickhead."

Clara snorted. They pulled their assignments out of their bags and went to work. Nearly every Professor had started the year with a bang and wanted a summary of the last year's subjects to prove that they had not forgotten. They swapped parchments, using each others ideas and rewording them to avoid being caught.

"Clara, isn't it?" she looked toward the soft voice.

"Yes, Granger?" Clara asked. The bushy haired girl nodded, "You can call me Hermione. I don't normally approve of disrespecting the Professors like you did, but I just wanted to say that I thought it was justified. My friend Ron is still celebrating."

Clara blushed and laughed, "Well, that's good to hear. I felt sort of bad about it."

"If Professor Lisney did what you said, I don't think you have anything to feel bad about," she looked genuine. Clara had never said more than a few words to her, but she felt like they would have been friends had they not been in rival houses.

Harry Potter walked up behind Hermione and grinned at Clara, "I wanted to thank you. This is the first day in six years that I've heard someone else's name more than my own."

Pansy scoffed.

"Did you want to say something?" he asked the Slytherin.

"No, it's just wonderful how modest you are."

"I wasn't bragging, I'm genuinely happy about it," Harry explained. His green eyes moved up and down Pansy's body, but she never looked away from the lake.

"It's not about you, so…" Pansy trailed off, raising her eyebrows. Harry gave an awkward smile, "Anyway. Clara. Good job, I'm proud of you, I'm leaving."

Hermione sighed as he walked off.

"Yes, Clara. I think most of the school is proud of you. If you need anything, I'm here."

Clara thanked the girl sincerely and watched her walk back to where her friends were sitting. Once the Gryffindors were out of earshot, she turned to her best friend.

"What was that about?"

"What was what about?" the raven haired girl asked innocently.

"That with Harry… he's nice, you don't have to be rude just because he's a Gryffindor."

"It would feel wrong to be nice to him," she could barely hide the disgust on her face.

"Maybe you are spending too much time with Draco."

They resumed their homework silently. Clara was used to Pansy's distrust of Gryffindors; it seemed to be a Slytherin trait. The house politics seemed ridiculous to Clara, and she assumed it came from her Muggle upbringing. Most of the Slytherins probably came from families who thought Harry Potter was horrible for defeating their Dark Lord. Clara, however, had read about the horrors of the war and couldn't understand how anyone could have followed him.

"There you are, darling!" the girls heard the whiny voice of Draco Malfoy behind them.

"Oh, Goddamn it," Pansy slammed her book shut.

Clara was overwhelmed by the sudden urge to jump in the lake, but she couldn't swim. Although, as soon as the boy started talking, she began to wonder if drowning might be favorable.

"Yes, Draco?" Pansy hissed.

"Darling, I've been -""Listen," Pansy interrupted, "Draco, stop with the names. I'm begging you. We can make up, just no more bloody _darling_ , or _sweetie_ , or _dear_. It makes me want to vomit."

Draco looked taken aback, "I… alright. I'm sorry." Pansy shrugged.

"Please, dar-" he stopped himself, "Pansy, what did I do?"

She rolled her eyes. Clara was braiding strands of grass together.

"You didn't do anything."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Do I look like I'm avoiding you?"

"Yes."

He gestured to the nearly deserted lawn. Pansy considered it before speaking.

"Look, Draco - I don't know. Things have been different since we came back. What happened to the kind, mature gentleman I saw in Italy?"

Clara coughed loudly to disguise the laugh she couldn't hold in. Draco as a gentleman was just unimaginable.

"He's still here," Draco was on his knees next to Pansy. Clara decided that if he started begging, she was going to accept her fate and join the Giant Squid in the lake.

"Oh, is he? Would he really spend a meal ignoring his girlfriend and discussing ways to torture children with his troll servants?"

"His name is Gregory," Draco looked offended.

"It was _rhetorical_ ," Pansy said, exasperated, "As soon as we got on the train, all you could talk about was your father, or Saint Potter, or First Years."

An odd expression came over Draco's face, and Clara assumed that he was either trying to force tears or that one of the house elves had tainted his lunch.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?" Pansy asked.

"I just… I'm in love with you," Draco replied, his voice strained.

"Yeah, well. You can work on showing it. That's your assignment," Pansy sneered, throwing her things in her bag before standing up, "Come on, Clara. Let's leave him to his thoughts."

Clara jumped up, her bag already packed.

* * *

"Well, that was quite a day."

Clara was laying on her bed reading ahead in her Charms book when Pansy entered and sprawled out next to her.

"I want to sleep for a month," Clara sighed, shutting her book and laying it on her nightstand.

"Ah, but what would your fans do without you biting tongue?" Clara groaned and covered her friend's face with her pillow.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, dear," Pansy whacked the girl in the face with the pillow. They settled down and noticed Daphne sitting nervously on the edge of her bed.

"What's up, Daph?" Pansy asked, spreading out on her stomach and resting her head on her fists.

"I think we can all agree that our little… girl time, last night... " she hesitated.

"It was bloody weird," Clara laughed. Daphne's face immediately switched from worry to relief.

"Yes!" she agreed.

"It _was_ pretty weird," Pansy nodded.

"No more of that, agreed?"

"Agreed," the two girls said in unison.


	8. Chapter 7

Friday was cold and windy, a drastic change from the day before. The waves thrashed against the dormitory windows as the girls quietly readied themselves for the day. Clara pulled her green and silver scarf out of her trunk and wrapped it loosely around her neck before sitting on Pansy Parkinson's bed.

"I can't believe there's not a charm for that," she noted as she watched her friend apply a generous amount of makeup.

"Oh, there is. Several, actually. I just enjoy it," Pansy shrugged. Clara never ventured outside of her simple eyeliner and mascara routine.

"We should leave soon, I need breakfast."

Pansy nodded and replaced her supplies in the small purple bag on her nightstand.

The girls stood and left the dormitory. The Common Room was crowded with students finishing last minute assignments.

"Hogsmeade trip next weekend," Daphne Greengrass informed the girls as she joined them.

Draco Malfoy was standing by the door.

"Do you want to wait 'till he's gone?" Clara asked her friend, who just smiled and shook her head. The three girls exited the Common Room without so much as a glance from Draco.

"What happened to him?" Clara was in awe.

"You saw most of it," Pansy shrugged, "I saw him in the Library last night and he said he'd leave me alone."

* * *

They arrived at the Great Hall and took their places at the Slytherin table. Clara immediately loaded her plate.

"Hungry, aren't we?" Pansy laughed.

"Well, I have detention tonight, so I know I'll probably be too nervous to eat anything else today," Clara spoke after finishing a bite of scrambled egg. Daphne was busy working on her Herbology assignment with Tracey.

"Clara, don't think I'm too awful…" Pansy started, biting her lip.

"Alright?"

"Now that Draco's ignoring me, I sort of feel bad," she looked down the table to where he was sitting with Crabbe and Goyle.

"Are you serious? You've been complaining about him for three days. He's a git, he's not worth your time," Clara was shaking her head. Pansy sighed and nodded, returning to her cereal. Suddenly, dozens of owls flew in through the high windows, dropping letters and packages to the students. A barn owl flew over Clara and she caught the letter.

"Who's it from?" Pansy asked.

"Just dad, who else?" Clara opened the envelope and read the letter quickly.

 _Dear Clara,_

 _You will be pleased to know that I went out to dinner with Jim and two other men from the office. They may be dull muggles, but it was a good time. I hope you are getting all of your assignments done. How is the new Dark Arts Professor? Hopefully better than last year's! You are missed here. The house seems very empty. I love to hear from you, but school comes first! Get those papers done and then you can write me._

 _I love you._

 _Dad_

Clara folded the letter up and stuck it in her bag. She would have to tell him about Professor Lisney, but it seemed too big to just say in a letter. Although unless she waited until the Holiday break, it would have to be done that way. She sighed.

"Class starts soon, we should go," Pansy had finished her cereal. Clara nodded and stood before slinging her bag over her shoulder.

* * *

Classes were difficult and detailed. The day was passing too quickly for Clara. Her detention with Professor Lisney - her mother - was at 7, and her anxiety was getting out of control.

"You're twitching," Pansy told her at lunch.

Clara apologized as she absentmindedly picked the crust off of her sandwich.

"Are you going to eat?" Pansy was worried about her best friend. Not even a week into the school year and she had already been through enough. Clara opened her sandwich and starting picking out bits of turkey.

"Close enough," Pansy sighed.

"I wish you could come," Clara said through bites of turkey.

"Me too, darling. But you'll be fine. You'll probably just have to write lines or something boring."

"I hope so. If she wants to talk, I don't know what I'll do."

Pansy reached across the table and took Clara's hand, "You'll be okay. You _can_ ignore her. I know you can't ignore actual school stuff, but if she tries to get you to talk about personal things, you are allowed to ignore her."

"I'm not good at ignoring people. Or things. Or anything," Clara stared at the remains of the now destroyed sandwich.

"I believe in you," Pansy smiled, "We still have classes to go to, then dinner. If you want to skip dinner we can just go sit by ourselves."

Clara nodded and smiled, "That might be nice. Thanks."

* * *

After her last class, Clara went straight to the dormitory. She worked on her Potions essay on the dangers of love potions to pass the time. Pansy had been going to check them out a few library books that were needed for the other assignments. The dormitory was empty. Most students lingered in the hallways and common room until dinner. Clara was thankful for the silence. The only sounds were those of the water lapping at the windows and her quill scratching on the parchment.

After an hour, Clara had finished her essay and Pansy had never returned. Curious, she walked out to the common room to look for her friend. She stopped as soon as she reached her destination, because Pansy was in front of her, on the leather sofa, snogging Draco. He was on top of her, his hand creeping up her leg. Clara coughed awkwardly. The couple looked at her, Draco smug and Pansy embarrassed.

"I was waiting for you," Clara said matter-of-factly.

"Sorry. Got held up. Excuse me, Draco, I need to do my homework."

She clumsily stood and straightened her skirt before following Clara back into the dormitory.

"What the hell was that?" Clara asked her as soon as the door had shut. Pansy blushed and looked at her feet.

"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, I'm just wondering what changed in an hour."

"Well…" Pansy walked to her bed and sat down, "I went to the library. Draco was there, in the same section I needed, so I just decided to face it."

Clara sat next to her on the bed and waited for her to continue.

"And… well, he apologized. He told me how it's hard for him here, how his friends expect a certain Draco, how he wants to try to be better but they would abandon him."

"So he's willing to be a twat to fit in with the rest of them?" Clara scoffed.

"I know you don't like him. It's terrible, honestly. I love you, I think I love him. And you hate each other. I know you don't want to get to know him, because I know the Draco you see is a complete git and I wouldn't have fallen in love with this Draco. Clearly, I mean I did ignore him for five years. But I'm telling you, he isn't a bad person," Pansy clearly felt strongly. Her eyes were wide, her voice pleading.

"Pansy, you know I love you. You're my sister," Clara sighed, "So, for you, and _only_ for you, I will give him a shot."

Pansy jumped up and wrapped Clara in a tight hug, "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I promise, you'll see, he's really a good guy."

"I have my doubts. But alright. If you ever doubt that I love you to death, just remember this moment," Clara laughed.

Pansy beamed, before he face went suddenly serious, "Oh, my God. You have detention."

"Yeah. I do."

"Clara, oh my God, I'm so sorry! I can't believe I forgot!" Pansy looked distraught.

"It's okay. It'll be fine," Clara gave a small smile.

"Are you sure? I can go get you some dinner if you want, or we can just sit here, or we can have crazy wild hot lesbian sex."

"You know, one day I'm gonna decide you're not kidding when you say that," Clara laughed.

"Maybe Draco has some competition," Pansy winked and pulled the library books out of her bag. Clara looked at the clock above the door and sighed.

"Come here," Pansy moved over and patted the spot next to her.

"See, you joke about lesbian sex and then you invite me into your bed. People are going to talk."

Pansy raised an eyebrow and started pulling her skirt up slowly.

"Pansy!" Clara was laughing.

"Just get your cute butt over here and sit down," Pansy grinned. They laid side by side on the bed until it was time for Clara to leave for detention.

"Do you want me to walk with you?" Pansy asked, standing.

"No, that's alright. It'll give me time to think."

"If by think you mean 'dwell-on-the-situation-until-you're-horribly-depressed, then I think I should come," Pansy told her friend sternly.

"I don't, but thank you," Clara smiled and hugged her.

"Don't get expelled!" Pansy called, before Clara countered with, "Don't get pregnant!"

* * *

The walk to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom seemed to be neverending. Clara's footsteps echoed through the empty halls as she thought about what the next hour and a half would hold. She was hopeful that all Professor Lisney would want her to do would be sit at a desk and write lines, but she expected that she would have to actually speak to the woman. Potential conversations ran through her head, ranging from, "How's your dad?" to "If I locked you in my office, no one would hear you scream". Finally, Clara was climbing the stairs to the classroom. She paused at the top, took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Come in," she heard the light voice she remembered from her childhood say. She pushed on the wooden door and entered.

"Clara, hello. I have to say, I'm surprised to see you," Professor Lisney smiled, almost sadly.

"Well, dentention usually isn't optional," Clara smirked as she took a seat.

"That doesn't stop some students. I definitely skipped some detentions in my day," her brown eyes sparkled, "I'd like to say I see some of myself in you, but you seem to be a much more dedicated student than I ever was. When you're not calling Professors names, of course."

"I'm not apologizing," Clara snapped.

"I didn't ask you to. As your Professor, I should advise you not to do it again. But as… well, as I am who I am, I understand."

Clara looked at the woman standing a few feet away. It was almost strange how alike they looked. Save for the grey eyes that Clara had inherited from her father, there were no drastic differences; the same long brunette hair, the square face, the small and straight nose. It was like looking in a mirror that showed you in 20 years.

"I won't make you speak to me. But can I speak to you?"

Clara nodded stiffly.

"Don't think that I don't regret leaving. It was the hardest thing I have ever done."

"Then why did you do it?" Clara asked. Her mother frowned and carefully sat on the edge of her desk.

"I did it for you and your father."

"Are you mental? Dad's been a mess ever since that day. I remember it. I remember having a nightmare and waking up and needing, more than anything, a hug from my mum. I ran to the bedroom, and you weren't there, so I checked everywhere. I looked in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the closets, in the garden… and you were gone. And I remember screaming for dad, and I remember his face when I told him you were gone. Do you know that in these years, I have never been able to forget the sounds he made when he read your bloody note? He sobbed. He sobbed and he wailed and I swear to God I thought I would lose him, too. And I missed you. I missed you a hell of a lot. But I saw how you made him feel, how you made him act for years afterwards, and I decided that I didn't miss you so much. Not if you were the kind of terrible woman who would abandon her husband and child," Clara finished, suddenly realizing that she was crying. Her mother sat in front of her, eyes wide and glistening from tears she wouldn't release.

"Clara," the woman started, letting a few tears fall before steadying herself, "Do you have any idea why I left?"

Clara shook her head, "But I look forward to hearing what kind of rubbish excuse you've thought up."

"I thought you were powerless. I knew your dad had struggled, knowing about me and trying to live as a normal Muggle still."

Clara watched her say the words she had read just a week ago. Somehow, even reading it written in her mother's handwriting, she had one tiny bit of hope that it hadn't been true, that it had been a lie concocted to cover up the fact that she had run away with another man or something. Hearing it just confirmed that it really was Clara's fault.

"I needed to be in this world, Clara. The Muggle world isn't my home, it's not where I belong. Out there, I was just odd, the mental girl. Here, I'm powerful. I'm a really great witch. My potential couldn't be reached if I had stayed in London."

"How do you know?" Clara asked.

"How do I know what?"

"How do you know that dad wouldn't have gone with you? Do you realize how in love he is with this world? The first time we went to Diagon Alley together, when I was getting my school things for my first year here, he was a kid in a candy shop. In the summers, we go every other weekend. He always has to stop at Florean Fortiscue's, because we always get free ice cream and he gets to talk to his friend. Florean taught me all about this world. He told me about Hogwarts, and about Diagon Alley, and Hogsmeade, and the war, and Harry Potter, and all of these things that _you_ should have been there to teach me!" Clara was almost shouting now. Her tears had dried and now she was just angry.

"Lewis is a Muggle. That's all there is to it. He might enjoy the novelty of it every other week, but do you think he could thrive in a village full of witches and wizards?"

"If Muggles are so terrible, then why the hell did you marry him?" Clara asked. Her mother took a moment to answer.

"I fell in love," she replied simply.

"So… you fell in love, and you loved him enough to marry him, and you loved him enough to raise a child with him for _eight bloody years_ , but you didn't love us enough to not abandon us?"

"Clara, I've told you-""Yes, _Professor_ , you've told me, and I am not afraid to tell you that your reasons are complete and utter bullshit."

"As your Professor, I must ask you not to use language in my classroom."

"Oh, oh, okay. Yes, _Professor_. Whatever you say, _Professor_."

They looked at each other. Clara glared daggers straight through the woman's heart.

"Miss Rowley," Professor Lisney said sternly, "I have told you my side. Whether or not you choose to accept it is not my responsibility. You are excused from this detention."

Clara stood immediately and snatched her bag from the floor. She began to storm out, but stopped and turned before opening the door.

"You can tell me you why left for us all you want. You can tell me that you wanted us to live a nice, normal Muggle life. But you need to hear me, too. I've lived these years not knowing if you were dead or alive. I dreamed of you showing up again, being so sorry and us being apprehensive but still welcoming you back because we are a family. I dreamed of coming downstairs in the morning and kissing my mum on the cheek, or getting a goodnight hug from my mum. God, I just wanted someone to call mum. But now that you're here, you know what I've realized?"

"What, Clara?"

"I don't have a mum. I will never have a mum."

Clara turned on the last syllable and threw open the door. Immediately, the tears starting flowing uncontrollably. She held her sobs as best she could while struggling for air. Without even thinking about where she was going, she had made it to the dungeons and into the common room. Pansy was waiting for her on one of the leather sofas.

"Oh, darling," she ran over to wrap her arms around her best friend, "It's okay, everything's okay."

Clara cried into the girl's shoulder for a few minutes before being guided to the sofa. Pansy watched as her friend collapsed in on herself, and pulled her into her lap.

"Clara, I love you, it's alright, let it out," she wrapped her arms around Clara and buried her face in her hair.

"God, Clara, I swear. That woman will pay for everything she has done to hurt you. I swear, I swear," she whispered into Clara's hair.

At some point during the night, once Clara had finally calmed enough for them to make it into the dormitory, the two girls curled up together under the green sheets on Pansy's bed.


	9. Chapter 8

Clara woke up late, with a pounding headache and sore eyes. The curtains were drawn around the bed and she realized that Pansy's arms were around her. Suddenly she remembered the previous night's detention and sighed.

"Good morning," Pansy yawned. She squeezed Clara before releasing her.

"Thanks for last night," Clara said as she turned to face her friend.

"You scared me. I'd never seen you so… miserable."

Clara realized that Pansy's eyes were also puffy and red.

"We're only a week in. I'm sure it'll get worse," Clara stretched.

"Maybe not. Maybe now she'll just ignore you, or stick to being just your Professor," Pansy reasoned. Clara just shook her head and buried her face in the pillow.

"I take it you're not leaving this bed today?" Pansy asked.

"Nope," Clara replied, her voice muffled.

"Good. Are you hungry? I can go get us some lunch."

"I'm starving," Clara didn't move.

"I'll be back," Pansy kissed the back of Clara's head and left.

* * *

The two girls sat in bed with a tray of food between them. Pansy had picked out a selection of Clara's favorites, and they ate mostly in silence. They kept the curtains around them to avoid questions.

"Pansy? Are you in here?" they heard Daphne call from the door.

"Yes," Pansy answered, "and so's Clara. Don't open the curtain, we're naked."

Clara nearly choked on her mouthful of crisps. Daphne didn't say anything, but the curtain opened just slightly at the edge.

"Oh my God, Daphne," Clara laughed as she saw the girl's blue eyes.

Pansy turned and grinned, "Daphne! Sorry to disappoint, my dear."

"Shush. I was curious!" Daphne blushed furiously.

"I'm sure," Pansy laughed. Daphne disappeared before pulling the side curtain open and stealing a sandwich from their tray.

"Most of the school thinks you're together. I just had to see," Daphne explained. Clara raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I'm honored that they think I could get a catch like Clara, then," Pansy was smiling, "Wait, if they think we're together, do they not know about me and Draco?"

"Oh, well…" Daphne paused, "They do. But they think he's only dating you to cover up his romance with Harry Potter."

Clara and Pansy cackled.

* * *

"I can't believe she actually said that to you," Pansy was looking at Clara in complete shock.

"Yeah. She's quite a lovely woman," Clara smirked. She had just told Pansy about the previous night in detail.

"But I am so proud of you for sticking up for yourself."

They were still in Pansy's bed, curtains drawn.

"I hoped you would be," Clara smiled, "Now tell me how _your_ evening went."

Pansy blushed.

"Oh my God, now you have to tell me. The great Pansy Parkinson never blushes."

"Shush," Pansy swatted her friend's arm, "I just hung out with Draco."

"That's all?" Clara raised an eyebrow.

"We… we may have snuck off one of the empty classrooms…" Pansy grinned, "Look, it had been a while, alright? We were pretty… _active_ , in Italy."

"I did not need to know that," Clara groaned.

"I'm just saying! It was a good time."

"How do you know he wasn't thinking about Harry the whole time?" Clara stuck her tongue out.

"Oh God, no. Don't even go there," Pansy sighed, "I did think it was odd how much he talked about Potter."

"What, you think it's true?" Clara asked, sitting up on her elbows.

"I don't know. But I see why people would say that," Pansy replied diplomatically, "Although, evidence has shown that he does quite enjoy the female body."

"Who doesn't, to be honest?"

Pansy looked at her friend's frank expression and they laughed together.

* * *

On Sunday morning, Clara and Pansy headed to the library. They had several assignments to finish. After picking out the needed books, they picked out an empty table next to some first years. The small Ravenclaws glanced up at the stack of books Pansy had just dropped onto the table.

"Savor this feeling, my friends. Soon you'll be wishing you only had four essays to write," Clara told them darkly before smiling.

After what felt like hours, they had finished all of their work. Pansy sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"I can't wait to be done with school," she groaned. Clara understood what her friend meant, and she was also quite excited to be done with the schoolwork portion, but Hogwarts was her home. Whereas Pansy would go home and hang out with her magical family and friends, Clara couldn't see herself ever being far from her father. Her being away at school was hard enough on him, she knew. Actually permanently moving away just felt unrealistic.

"Me, either," Clara agreed quietly. She stood and gathered their books while Pansy repacked their bags. After returning the books to their respective shelves, they exited the library together. Lunch was over and most homework was completed, and the halls were full of students. Pansy had agreed to meet Draco in the common room, so the girls made their way through the crowds to the dungeon.

* * *

With quite a bit of effort, Clara had pushed her mother out of her mind. She had Defense Against the Dark Arts the next morning, and it was threatening to overtake her thoughts, so Clara spent the afternoon laying on her bed reading _Pride and Prejudice_. Her copy was worn, despite her best efforts to keep it safe. It had been a present from one of her Muggle teachers for her tenth birthday. Now it was her safety blanket, reminding her of all the things that she had been through since reading it for the first time while curled up on the sofa at home. She could focus on the words on the page and immerse herself in the story, instead of dwelling on whatever was happening in her real life. It was comforting.

"Clara, are you going to dinner?" Pansy poked her head in the door.

"Of course," Clara smiled and placed the book on her nightstand. She walked out the door and was immediately greeted cheerfully by Draco.

"Hello, Clara! So nice to see you," he smiled, widely and somewhat scarily.

"Hi, Draco," Clara replied, eyeing Pansy, who just looked between them both proudly.

Pansy and Draco led the way to the Great Hall, while Clara awkwardly followed. They took their places at the table with Draco's groupies.

"I locked that second year in the 4th floor broom closet today, I think he's still there," Goyle proudly told his leader as soon as they had sat.

"That is terrible," Draco said uncomfortably, "Go let him out right now."

Goyle's face dropped, his eyes suddenly sad. Clara would have found it humorous if Draco hadn't been scaring her.

"Now! He needs to eat," Draco ordered. Goyle looked around at his fellow Dracoists, all of them appearing to be just as confused by their master's change of heart. He stood clumsily and walked off.

"What the hell?" Clara asked Pansy in a whisper. She just smile.

"Terrible, just terrible," Draco shook his head before filling his plate.

"But… but, you asked him to do it," Crabbe seemed to be overheating from the thinking process.

"I would do no such thing!" Draco's eyes widened in shock.

"But you-" Crabbe started, before being cut off by Draco, "Vincent, I can assure you that I do not wish harm upon any of the lovely students at this school."

Clara stifled a laugh.

"I think it's admirable, dear," Pansy reached her hand across the table and laid it over Draco's.

"I think it's bloody ridiculous," Crabbe shook his head, but went back to his dinner.

After resolving to ask her about it once they were alone, Clara started eating.

* * *

"Did you Imperio him?" Clara asked Pansy that night in the dormitory.

"No, I did not," Pansy gasped. Her eyes sparkled.

"Then what the hell did you do? He's acting mental," Clara removed her cloak and draped it on the back of her chair.

"I may have made a deal with him," Pansy grinned as she unbuttoned her white shirt.

"Are you going to Imperio him?" Clara asked. She removed her sweater and shirt in one motion and pulled a t shirt out of her open trunk.

"No, Clara, I can assure you that this does not include any magic whatsoever," Pansy pulled on her pajama pants and sat on the edge of Clara's bed. She leaned towards her friend, making a show of looking to make sure no one else was around.

"I told him I won't put out unless he's nice to people."

Clara laughed, "Oh. I should have guessed that."

They finished changing before the rest of the Slytherin girls entered.

* * *

The morning came too soon, and Clara immediately felt the heavy sense of dread in her stomach. This would be her first time seeing Professor Lisney since detention, and she had no idea what to expect.

"Clara?" she heard Pansy's groggy voice say.

"Yes?" Clara answered, her eyes still closed.

"Are you up?" Pansy asked.

"Clearly," Clara opened her eyes and looked at the girl. She grinned and stood up.

"Scoot," Pansy ordered before climbing into the bed.

"Morning," Clara sighed.

"Good morning, sunshine," Pansy kissed her friend's forehead, "So what are we doing today?"

"I really don't want to go to Defense today."

"Then don't," Pansy replied simply. Clara looked at her friend as though she was crazy.

"Are you joking?"

"No," Pansy shrugged, "Missing one class won't wreck your grade, Clara."

Clara considered this, before replying, "If I were to miss this class… I take it you would bring me notes and tell her that I wasn't feeling well if she asks?"

"Of course."

"Well then. I guess it would be alright," Clara smiled up at her friend.

"Sleep, darling, I'll come wake you before our next class."

* * *

Clara stayed in bed for a while before accepting the fact that she would have to eventually function as a human. She took her time getting ready for the day. On Wednesday, she would face Professor Lisney, no matter what. It had to be done, unless Clara wanted to fail Defense Against the Dark Arts, which was out of the question. Pansy would have her back, as always, and everything would be fine. At least, it would be as fine as a class could possibly be when you're being taught by your selfish, horrible estranged mother whom you never thought you would see again. Clara sighed. She knew Pansy would be back soon to walk her to Arithmancy. It had used to be Clara's least favorite subject, but it didn't inspire the same sort of dread anymore. She exited the dormitory and went to wait for Pansy on the couches. As she looked around the empty common room, she noticed Goyle sitting quietly in the corner. He looked distraught. After a quick internal debate, she stood and made her way over to him.

"Are you alright?" she asked the boy. He looked up at her, seemingly surprised that she had noticed him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said in his deep, thick voice.

"Is it Draco?" Clara wondered why she was speaking to this troll.

"I…" tears welled up in his eyes, "I don't know. We used to have good times, you know, scarin' the kids. Then today… he told me this mornin', he said, 'That Whitby kid, from Hufflepuff, I'd have a good laugh if you showed him who's boss'. Then I do it and he is a different bloody person!"

Clara had regrets. She had just wanted to make sure he was okay, and now he was looking at her with tears in his eyes, waiting for her to make it better.

"Look, don't tell anyone I told you this, alright?" Clara whispered, even though they were alone. Goyle nodded eagerly, wiping his tears, "O' course not."

"It's a game," Clara explained, "It's a game between Pansy and Draco. I'm sure Draco was very proud of you."

Goyle's eyes suddenly filled with hope and he smiled at her. The smile was awkward on his face, as though he didn't know how to do it properly.

"Thanks, Clara. You know, you're not bad."

"No problem. Neither are you," Clara smiled and patted the back of his hand. They sat there, Clara looking around the room and Goyle happily staring at the first girl to talk to him in years. Suddenly, the door creaked open and Pansy stepped in, Draco right behind her.

"You're up!" she cried, "I was certain I'd have to set your curtains on fire to get you up."

"I'm not that bad," Clara's eyes widened.

"Yes, my dear, you certainly are."

* * *

Pansy, Draco, and Clara walked together to Arithmancy, now tailed by Goyle. The boy walked happily beside Clara, looking over at her every few steps and catching her eye. Clara would smile back politely. She looked over the notes that Pansy had brought her as they walked. There hadn't been much to take notes on, as they had just practiced casting Patronus'.

"Here we are. See you later, Goyle," Draco turned and waved to his friend, who smiled and walked off. They took their seats and Clara immediately asked Pansy, "Why did Goyle come with us if he doesn't go to this class?"

Pansy took a deep breath and looked at her friend, the familiar condescending look that Clara had seen aimed at nearly every person in school.

"What?" Clara asked, confused.

"Oh, my sweet, little Clara. My innocent child," she smiled sweetly and put her hand on her friend's shoulder, "The boy likes you."

"Well, I'm nice to him."

"For God's sake, Clara. The boy like _likes_ you," Pansy smirked.

"You don't have to talk to me li-" Clara suddenly wasn't offended by Pansy's choice of words, "Wait, what? What? No, how- why- did he tell you?"

"Clara, breathe. No, he didn't tell me. But he did just walk an extremely long way to a class that he doesn't even attend."

"Oh… oh _shit_ ," Clara buried her face in her hands.

"Yep," Pansy said happily as Professor Vector started talking to the class.

* * *

The group met up at lunch. Goyle now took the spot beside Clara, while Crabbe looked at them, confused. Pansy was amused by her friend's current situation and couldn't wipe the smug grin off of her face.

"Oh!" Clara looked at Pansy suddenly, "That… that essay…"

Pansy narrowed her eyes, "What?"

"You remember…" Clara tried to yell at her friend mentally.

"Oh, _that_ essay. Gosh, I completely forgot. We should go work on it, right now," Pansy turned to Draco, "I'm sorry, Draco, we need to go. I'll see you later?"

With that, the two girls jumped up and hurried out of the Great Hall.

"God, Clara, for a Slytherin, you are a terrible liar," Pansy groaned as soon as they were in the corridor.

"Like you're any better!"

"I wasn't expecting it. My lies are flawless, I just need to plan them for a bit."

"I have to get away from Goyle," Clara sighed.

"What happened while I was at class?" Pansy asked her friend.

"He was sitting there, all alone. He looked miserable. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't about to fling himself from the Astronomy tower or something," Clara explained.

"Well, now you know he won't," Pansy laughed.

"Why do I have to be such a good person?" Clara lamented jokingly.

"Because you're Clara. Maybe you need a good shag, it'll take your mind off of things," Pansy raised an eyebrow.

" _Pansy_ ," Clara was disgusted, "not with Goyle."

"Maybe under the excess fat, there's a heart of gold," Pansy said dreamily.

"Oh my God," Clara's face was bright red, "no. No, no, no, no. No."

"If you're sure."

* * *

AN: Hope you enjoyed a little bit of fun after the last chapter. :) I had quite a bit of difficulty writing the past couple of days, but the next chapter should be better. Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews, I appreciate them so much!


	10. Chapter 9

"Your boyfriend is waiting."

Clara lifted her head from his pillow and squinted in the direction of Pansy Parkinson's cheerful voice.

"What?" she asked groggily, "What boyfriend?"

"The lovely Gregory Goyle, my dear."

This woke Clara up completely. She sat up and looked around, examining her surroundings as though she had woken up in an alternate universe. Pansy tossed her friend a lacy black bra from her trunk.

"Might want to wear that, just in case things get heated later," Pansy winked.

Clara threw the lingerie back and groaned.

"What's this with Clara and Goyle?" Daphne Greengrass asked as she entered the dormitory.

"Oh my God," Clara collapsed back on her pillow and pulled the covers over her head. Pansy roared with laughter.

"So you two went public and never told me? I'm so hurt," Pansy whined.

Clara pushed the covers off and rolled out of bed.

"Daphne, there is nothing with me and Goyle. I don't know what he's saying, but I literally just talked to him for five minutes, if that."

"Well, he's telling everyone in the common room that he's waiting for his girlfriend," Daphne shrugged.

"Damn it," Clara started pulling on her uniform. She hurriedly brushed through her hair before grabbing her bag.

"Let's go meet up with our beaus," Pansy sighed romantically.

"I'm going to throw you in the lake and hope the giant squid takes you," Clara threatened before opening the door to the common room. It was full of Slytherins preparing for the day. Draco and Goyle were standing next to the dormitory door, and their sudden appearance made Clara jump.

"Hello, dear," Pansy kissed Draco on the cheek. Clara ignored the boys, looking towards the couches where several students were finishing their essays at the last possible minute.

"Hi, Clara," Goyle's voice was higher than usual, and she assumed he was trying to sound excited.

"Hello," Clara gave him a tight smile and began to make her way through the crowd ahead of the group. She was barely three feet from the door when Goyle sprinted past her and opened the door for her.

"Ladies first," he gestured, the awkward smile plastered on his face.

"Thanks."

* * *

The day dragged on. Clara knew she should be grateful to have something to focus on besides her mother, but Goyle was overbearing. In every class, she could see him watching her out of the corner of her eye. It didn't matter if he was across the room. His eyes were glued to her. It did help Clara remember to take notes, though. She was obsessive, bent over her parchment all through the lessons, scribbling down as much information as possible. Maybe, she had thought, if she spent all day with her hair draped around her face and her eyes glued to the paper, Goyle would get the hint. It didn't work. In Charms, Clara dropped her quill, only to have Goyle run across the room and pick it up for her. After every class the boy would return to her side and they would walk behind Draco and Pansy to the next classroom. The only time Clara and Pansy had to themselves outside of class was in the bathroom.

"You know, Clara, you're allowed to tell him to bugger off," Pansy said from the other side of the partition.

"Do we have to have this conversation here?" Clara asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"Clearly. The boy won't let you breathe."

* * *

Things got increasingly uncomfortable for Clara at dinner. She slid into her normal spot beside Pansy and was immediately followed by Goyle nearly sitting in her lap.

"Hello," he grinned, showing his yellowed teeth. Clara just nodded. The situation was made much worse by the fact that the boy wouldn't talk to her besides simple greetings. It lulled Clara into a false sense of security, thinking he would be turned off by her lack of interaction, but it seemed to make him even more enthralled. In a last attempt to kill the attraction without hurting his feelings, she grabbed corn on the cob from one of the platters in the middle of the table. It was dripping with butter, and she slurped as she ate it. Pansy was watching her curiously. After annihilating the vegetable, Clara took her pinkie finger and began to pick out the stray bits of corn from between her teeth. She made quite a spectacle of the process and noticed Draco had stopped eating, a look of disgust on his pale face. Satisfied with her work, she looked to Goyle, only to find him watching her lovingly. He picked up his napkin and wiped her chin. Clara thanked him quietly and turned to Pansy, who was biting her lip hard to keep from laughing. Appetite now gone, she excused herself from the table and stood. Goyle immediately did the same.

"You still have a full plate," Clara noted, "Go ahead and finish."

"If you're sure," he said softly, before patting her shoulder. He sat back down and immediately stuffed most of a chicken leg in his mouth.

"I don't feel too well, I'll join you," Pansy laid her napkin in her plate and stood. The two girls walked silently out of the Great Hall. Pansy cracked up the second they were alone.

"Oh my _God_ , Clara. Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Is he an idiot?" Clara asked Pansy, exasperated.

"Well, yeah, I think so."

"How awful is it that I have to see that _woman_ in the morning, but I'm actually more irritated with something as stupid as this?" Clara nervously twisted her hair.

"I mean… it's kind of good, isn't it? You've been so stressed out, and now here's a much smaller issue to distract you," Pansy offered. Clara considered this and nodded. They continued their walk in silence, until they were interrupted by Professor Lisney's voice echoing down the corridor.

"In here," Clara pulled Pansy into a broom closet around the corner.

"What are we doing?" Pansy asked through the dark. Clara shushed her and they listened.

"Eliza, there is nothing we can do. You are our Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. It is a required class. There is simply no other solution," Clara recognized Professor McGonagall's stern voice.

"What if she doesn't come back to class?" Professor Lisney asked.

"I'm afraid that will be her problem, not yours. She will fail." They were silent for a moment.

"I don't know what to do," Clara heard the sadness in her mother's voice.

"It is a difficult situation for both of you, but I believe you will work it out," Professor McGonagall comforted. The light footsteps moved away and the two girls stayed in the closet until the corridor was silent.

"What was that about?" Pansy wondered.

"I guess she wanted me to transfer out of her class," Clara answered.

"Surely she would know that wasn't an option, though?"

Clara shrugged, "Maybe in certain situations, they can remove students. I don't know what they'd do… maybe private lessons with another Professor?"

"That's possible. So… are you okay?" Pansy asked, eyeing her friend.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? I don't want to be in her class. It doesn't make a difference to me if she doesn't want me in it, either."

* * *

The Common Room was still mostly empty when they entered. Clara spread out over one of the sofas while Pansy went to the dormitory to gather their assignments. After they were set up, Pansy sat next to Clara and crossed her legs.

"So. What are we going to do about that boy?" she grinned.

"I could just tell him to leave me alone," Clara said quietly.

"That was my thought, as well. But then I realized how dull that would be, and who knows if he'd actually listen?" Pansy's eyes glimmered. They always did when she had an evil plan.

"I'm not going to murder him."

"Jesus, Clara, no. No murder. I promise."

At this moment, the Common Room door swung open and Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle strode in. Draco plopped down by Pansy, his hands immediately going to her hips as he attacked her face. Goyle sat awkwardly close to Clara again. Crabbe sat in an armchair across from them, looking uncomfortable. The couch was now too full, and Clara could feel Draco's hand on Pansy's hip as the two girls were pressed together. Goyle was looking at Clara again, and she resolved to slap him if he tried anything. She tried hard to focus on her reading, despite the fact that Pansy's leg was now thrown over Draco's and it wouldn't be long before they would have to take their show to an empty classroom. Noticing where Crabbe's eyes were looking, she reached down and pulled Pansy's skirt down to cover her panties. After rereading the same line at least a dozen times, Clara gathered their things and retired to the dormitory.

"See you tomorrow!" Goyle said happily. Clara just lifted her hand in a half-hearted wave.

* * *

Clara jerked awake as the dormitory door creaked open. She saw Pansy tiptoe in, and noticed she was only wearing her skirt and white shirt. The rest of her uniform was in her arms. Even in the darkness, she could tell Pansy wasn't wearing a bra, and she had missed most of the buttons on her shirt.

"How was it?" Clara asked quietly. Pansy jumped, her clothes landing on the floor.

"God, don't do that," she whispered, "And it was fabulous. But I think we broke up."

Clara raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I don't know. We were there, having a fantastic time, and as soon as we…we _finished_ , he looks at me and just says, 'I don't know about us'."

"What the hell is his problem?" Clara might not have been crazy about the guy, but he wasn't going to hurt her best friend. Pansy just shrugged.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'd accepted that he wasn't going to be the same Draco from the summer, and that's not right. I don't want to be someone who's only nice when they want sex," Pansy explained.

"Good. I'm sorry, though."

"It's fine, really," Pansy smiled, "I do wonder what this is going to do for you and Goyle, though."

* * *

Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle were no where to be found the next morning. Pansy was genuinely unconcerned, and Clara tried not to be too hopeful that this would be the end of Goyle's infatuation.

"Well, it could go two ways, I think," Pansy was saying as they walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts, "either he will never speak to you again, or you will become the Romeo to his Juliet."

"On the bright side, they do die at the end," Clara smiled, making Pansy giggle. They had spent the morning talking about Draco. Pansy was attempting to get Clara's nerves under control by telling her of the now embarrassing demeanor Draco had had in Italy. He had been saccharinely romantic. Clara heard of the beautiful, expensive necklace Draco had given Pansy, only to have his mother yell at him in front of her after finding out that he had stolen it from her jewelry box.

"It's so much worse when you consider that he's bloody rich," Pansy shook her head.

The girls entered the classroom and walked past Draco and Goyle. Pansy's walk turned into a strut, her hips swinging. If she had looked back, Clara was sure Draco would have been staring.

"Welcome, students," Professor Lisney said after the desks were filled, "Last time, some of you missed out on practicing the Patronus charm. Today, you will have your chance."

Despite herself, Clara was excited. This was one of the more fascinating spells she had heard of. She felt the Professor's eyes on her and glanced up. The woman was looking at her happily.

 _Remember, don't call her any names,_ Pansy scribbled down on the parchment. Clara smiled. Her mother went through a short review of the spell before calling for the students to line up single file. A small Gryffindor boy was first to go.

"Expecto Patronum!" he cried, brandishing his wand with no result.

"Come on, Mr. Finnegan! Just imagine the happiest memory you can think of… put yourself back in that frame of mind," Professor Lisney encouraged. He repeated the spell, and this time small wisps of white burst out of the end of his wand.

"There we go! Stick with it."

After several tries, the class let out a collective gasp as a small white fox jumped out of the wand. It ran a few strides before dissolving into a mist. Clara joined in the applause.

"Wonderful job! You should be proud," Professor Lisney smiled warmly. The Gryffindor walked back to his desk with a massive smile plastered across his face. It took a while to get down the line, as each student struggled before being able to produce any sort of result. Finally, it was Pansy's turn, with Clara behind her.

"Alright, the Slytherins have yet to produce a corporeal Patronus. Make us proud," Professor Lisney enthused. Pansy closed her eyes for a moment, before lifting her wand, "Expecto Patronum!" . The white mist immediately flew out of her wand.

"Lovely first try."

Pansy's Patronus formed a bit more on every attempt, and finally, a cat was visible for a moment before vanishing into mist.

"Yes!" Professor Lisney yelled, "It can be improved, but that was the best we have seen from the Slytherins." Pansy turned and smiled at Clara encouragingly. She was a mix of emotions. Trying to think of her happiest memory while standing next to the woman who caused all of her worst memories was a challenge, but she wanted to show her mother what she had missed out on by leaving. She took a deep breath and concentrated on the memory she had picked from when she was ten years old, the first time she walked through Diagon Alley. For the first time, she felt like she belonged.

"Expecto Patronum!" Clara thought she saw a pair of wings flap for a split second. Her mother confirmed this, her mouth open in awe.

"Brilliant, Miss Rowley."

Clara smiled and walked back to her desk without a glance to her mother.

"Damn, Clara," Pansy looked impressed.

"Determination makes it much easier," Clara told her, "I just knew I had to show her I could do it. It just makes me want to work even harder, knowing that she would leave us over me being powerless."

"Well, go with it, then. It works."

* * *

While Draco made a conscious effort to avoid both Pansy and Clara throughout the day, Goyle kept risking wistful looks at Clara. She did her best to ignore him. The two girls stuck together all day, and ate dinner with their fellow Slytherin girls.

"Personally, I think you're much better off without him," Daphne was saying, "We put in far too much effort to show people that Slytherins aren't all bad to have him prancing around with you."

"Maybe if he finally got in Potter's pants, he'd be a less hostile person," Tracey grinned. Suddenly Pansy's eyes lit up, "All we need is some Polyjuice-" "No," Clara interrupted, "Definitely not."

"I'm only joking," Pansy looked taken aback.

"You are my best friend, and I know that you're not joking."

"We can do it without your help, you know," Daphne conspired.

"I'm sure you could. It's a terrible idea, though," Clara said, frowning at the girls.

"We wouldn't do anything _bad_ ," Pansy explained, "Just… have a little fun."

Clara looked at her friend. Her expression was mischievous, bordering on insane. They had known each other long enough, and Clara knew when Pansy was set on doing something.

"I don't know. Think about it for a few days first, please?" Clara asked. Pansy pouted before agreeing.

* * *

After they had returned to the Slytherin common room, Clara and Pansy relaxed on the sofa. They had finished all of their assignments, and Pansy was reading up on Polyjuice Potion.

"God, why does it have to take such a ridiculously long time?" she sighed.

"To give you time to think about your actions," Clara said, smiling. Pansy stuck her tongue out and continued reading. They stretched out, taking up the entire sofa. No need to make room for the boys now. Clara felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Goyle standing over her.

"Oh, hello," she greeted him, emotionless.

"May I sit?" he asked awkwardly. She sat up and moved over. Pansy was watching them curiously. Goyle sat and turned towards Clara, who tensed. He reached out and took her hands.

"My darling," he started, "I don't think it's going to work out between us."

Clara was able to pull off a very convincing horrified expression thanks to the boy's proximity.

"Oh… that's alright."

"It's not you… it's just, Draco is my best friend. It's a friendship thing. I'm sure you understand," he nodded towards Pansy.

"Oh, completely! Yes!" Clara said a bit too excitedly,"It's fine, really. Friends are the most important thing."

"Yes. Alright. Well, I'll see you around," he stood and paused, before bending over and kissing Clara's cheek. Pansy was in the midst of a severe coughing fit. Goyle walked away sadly.

"I think it's time for bed," Pansy grabbed Clara's hand and dragged her to the dormitory. Clara immediately washed her face before collapsing on Pansy's bed.

"I need a bath," Clara groaned, "An acid bath."

"So it's really over now," Pansy said, her voice raspy from the excessive coughing. Clara buried her face in the pillow as Pansy changed into her pajamas.

"I might be a lesbian," Clara said as she turned to lie on her back.

"You may be. But I wouldn't say that being repulsed by Goyle makes you a lesbian. It just makes you human," Pansy stretched out on the bed and resumed her Polyjuice Potion research.

"At least I didn't get detention again. She didn't even try to make me talk to her," Clara smiled.

"Exactly. You're free of Goyle and things are looking up. Now help me figure this bloody potion out."


	11. Chapter 10

"Welcome, class. Today we will begin learning about nonverbal spells," Professor Lisney stood at the head of the class, smiling around at her students. The rest of the class adored her. After having a fairly awful history with Defense Against the Dark Arts Professors, even Clara had to admit that this was a change for the better. Personal history aside, the woman was a good teacher. If they could get through the rest of the year with little to no personal conversations, Clara might even say that the class was enjoyable. Pansy hated the woman on principle, and was determined to hate her and her class. She was a very loyal friend.

"On Monday we will begin practicing. For today, I would just like you all to read and discuss chapter 3."

The sounds of books being dropped and opened filled the room. Class passed slowly and quietly. At Professor Lisney's prodding, there would be a short discussion on a point, but then the words would trail off and they'd be reading in silence again. Clara had already read the chapter, so she spent most of the class scribbling on the parchment between her and Pansy. After several games of Hangman, or hang-a-gruesomely-detailed-Professor-Lisney, it was time to continue on to their next class. They gathered their things quickly and didn't notice the woman standing by their desk.

"You're quite an artist," she told Pansy, who looked up in alarm.

"Yes, she really is," Clara answered matter-of-factly.

"You must know who I am," Professor Lisney said grimly.

"Of course I do," Pansy snapped. "Clara's my best friend."

Professor Lisney nodded and watched the other students leave, "There are two sides to every story, dear."

Pansy scoffed, "Normally I would agree, but I don't see a different side of this story, _dear_."

Clara was standing awkwardly, watching her mother and her best friend. Pansy had never said much about the woman, and Clara had just assumed she didn't really think about it. Now she was listening to them while she pulled at the hem of her sweater.

"Miss Parkinson, I must ask that you don't speak to me that way."

Pansy rolled her eyes and grabbed Clara's hand, "Let's go."

The girls walked down the corridor silently. Pansy strode slightly ahead of her friend, fuming.

"I don't want you getting in trouble," Clara told her after catching up.

"She's just so smug… the way she looks at you, at everyone else. Just like she's so much better than everyone."

"We know that she's not, though, and we've accepted that. At least I have," Clara shrugged.

"How can you possibly be so calm about this?" Pansy asked. "How can you go into class and listen so quietly and do your work with no problems?"

"Pansy, I went to detention for calling her a bitch."

"And it was great! It was the expected reaction," Pansy said.

"But I can't do that every lesson. I have to just sit there and be a student," Clara explained.

"You shouldn't just have to deal with this." Pansy was upset.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? Fail Defense? Fail my Sixth year?"

"No… I don't know. It's just so unfair," Pansy groaned.

"Yeah, it is. But I don't really have any other options."

* * *

Pansy was in a foul mood until they had returned to the dormitory. She and Clara got ready for bed in silence, while the other girls trickled in and got in their beds.

"Goodnight," Clara kissed the top of Pansy's head. She was already in bed, twisted in her covers.

"Love you," Pansy whispered. A few minutes after Clara had settled down in her own bed, she felt the weight of someone climbing in behind her. She turned and smiled at Pansy.

"I'm sorry for today," the girl apologized, her expression tired and sad.

"It's alright," Clara assured her.

"It's your fight, I know," Pansy sighed. "It's just really hard to hear everyone saying how fantastic Professor Lisney is and how she is so much better than anyone we've had and how she's so cool and pretty."

"It is," Clara nodded, "They don't know what she did. Maybe she is a good person, I don't know. I don't think I'll ever feel like she's a good person, but maybe she's changed."

"Can you change after that, though? Can you really come back from ruining your family and just suddenly be a good person?" Pansy asked quietly. Clara just sighed and shook her head.

"Clara, I'm sorry I got angry today. I'm upset about her, and about Draco, and I'm just frustrated. The only person who doesn't make me mad is you, and I'm not going to push you away with attitude."

"You really think I'd let you push me away?" Clara asked incredulously.

"I hope not." Pansy looked so sad. Clara hugged her.

"You are never getting rid of me, Pansy. I love you."

* * *

Saturday dawned earlier than usual, with the sounds of everyone getting ready for Hogsmeade. Clara had woken up with Pansy's arms around her, and they had stayed in bed after everyone else was already up and nearly ready.

"Come on, you two, we're leaving soon," Tracey Davis told them as she nudged Pansy in the back.

"Alright, alright," Pansy sighed. She removed her arms from around Clara and sat up, followed shortly by her friend.

"You want to go?" she asked her bleary-eyed friend.

"Yes, I think it'll be good for us."

They got up and started looking through the small selection of street clothes in their trunks.

"Don't look too good, you wouldn't want to give Goyle a heart attack," Pansy laughed. Clara had held up a casual black dress.

"This trip will be a success if we don't see any of those wankers," Clara shook her head.

Pansy pulled on grey tights, before slipping into a short and flowy emerald green dress. Clara was still digging through her clothes.

"Wear that," Pansy said over her shoulder as Clara picked up a dark purple top. "It'll make your eyes pop." Clara laughed at her friend and pulled the top over her head. It was simple and sleeveless with a triangle cut out of the back. She tugged on some dark jeans and sat on the bed, watching Pansy do her makeup.

"How have we been friends for six years and you've still never taught me how to do that?" Clara asked disgustedly.

"I guess you're just going to have to come spend the holidays with me or something," Pansy grinned.

"God, I would love to."

"You know, your dad wouldn't mind," Pansy told her friend.

"He would say he didn't mind. I can't leave him alone at Christmas," Clara sighed.

"It's worth thinking about," Pansy looked excited at the idea. "It'd be fantastic."

Clara pulled some safe-looking brown eye shadows from Pansy's makeup bag and started to copy her.

"Are you ready? They're about to leave," Daphne Greengrass called from the other side of the door.

"Yes, we'll be right there!" Pansy called before taking the makeup from Clara and hurriedly finishing for her. They stood, found shoes, and rushed out the door. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing with their other friends, probably discussing torture methods, Clara assumed. The Slytherins were all accounted for, so the group left the dungeons and met up with the other houses in the courtyard to begin the walk to the village. It was a nice day, cloudy but warm. Everyone was talking excitedly, glad to be out of the castle for a day. Pansy and Clara were walking slightly away from the crowd, next to a group of Third years. It was their first trip, and they were asking Pansy and Clara about all of the shops.

"Zonko's and Honeydukes are all you need," Pansy was telling an eager boy.

"My cousin told me about Zonko's… been saving up my galleons!" his friend grinned.

"Be sure to hide your purchases," Clara told them. "Filch likes to confiscate them."

* * *

Clara and Pansy started their day with a trip to The Three Broomsticks. They picked a table in the corner and ordered two butterbeers.

"You know, I'm glad we don't have to deal with the boys," Pansy said thoughtfully. "I like having my freedom."

"I can't believe Draco didn't even say anything," Clara frowned.

"I can. It was his idea, remember? Probably found someone with bigger tits."

"Well, she can't be prettier than you, so you can take comfort in that," Clara told her.

"You wouldn't go out with him, so no, I guess not," Pansy stuck her tongue out.

"I am not prettier than you," Clara scoffed.

"Mhm," Pansy mummered before taking a sip of her butterbeer. Clara just shook her head. They had a view of everyone who came and went from their table. Groups of excited third years sat together and took up most of the seats in the pub. Along the edge of the room was where the older students who were over the thrill sat. Pansy noticed Draco sitting across the room, talking to his groupies. Crabbe had something in his hand and was showing it to the group. Suddenly Clara choked on her butterbeer and swatted Pansy on the arm.

"What is she doing here?"

Pansy turned to see Professor Lisney walking to one of the empty tables, followed by Professor McGonagall.

"I… I don't know. She wasn't there this morning, was she?" Pansy asked her friend, who just shook her head. The two Professors sat and peered around at the surrounding students. Clara suddenly bent under the table to hide.

"Very casual," Pansy whispered. Clara shushed her. The Ravenclaw third years sitting at the table in front of them were watching Clara curiously.

"What are you looking at?" Pansy snapped at them. She took a sip of butterbeer and glanced over at the table where the Professors were sitting. They were facing away, talking to Madam Rosmerta.

"It's clear, Clara, stop being weird."

Clara raised up, careful not to hit her head.

"Should we leave?" Pansy asked as her friend straightened.

"I don't think so… that would look strange, wouldn't it?" Clara looked uneasy.

"Only to you," Pansy shrugged. Clara rolled her eyes and finished her butterbeer. She tried to listen to what the Professors were saying, but the noise of the crowd, distance between tables, and moaning couple next to them made it impossible.

"Come on, you need chocolate," Pansy informed her friend before standing up. Clara grabbed her bag from the floor and they exited quickly.

"I don't think she even saw us, Clara, you can stop sneaking."

Clara realized she was bent at the waist, walking lightly. She cleared her throat and straightened her back as Pansy giggled. They made their way through the crowd slowly, spending most of the walk behind a group of fifth year Gryffindors who were more interested in talking than walking. Finally, Pansy took Clara's hand and pushed through them after several "excuse us"s were ignored.

"Bloody Slytherins," one of the girls said nastily.

"Maybe if you learned how to walk and talk at the same time, people would be nicer to you," Pansy told her before leading Clara into Zonko's. It was packed with students. The first trip of the year was always the busiest, when every single student made the trip. Later in the year, more and more students usually decided they'd rather stay in the castle.

"Here we are," Pansy grinned as they reached the dungbomb display.

"Why do you…" Clara saw the expression on the girl's face and decided she didn't need to know why Pansy needed them. She picked up a few and continued on.

"I bet Goyle would be excited to get a present from you," Pansy raised an eyebrow and gestured to the shelf of Nose-Biting Teacups.

"That would be mean," Clara shook her head.

"That? Oh, my dear, that would not be mean. Just wait until you see what I have planned," Pansy looked giddy.

"Why haven't you told me of your evil plans?" Clara frowned.

"Because you'd talk me out of it. Besides, I told you about the Polyjuice Potion," Pansy said.

"Wait, you're actually going to do that?" Clara asked, suddenly worried. Pansy just grinned.

After Pansy had paid for her dungbombs, they left the shop. They almost immediately ran into Professors Lisney and McGonagall.

"Shit," Clara whispered.

"Excuse me, Miss Rowley?" Professor McGonagall asked sternly.

"Nothing, Professor. Hello," she greeted the teachers.

"Hello, girls," Professor Lisney smiled at them. McGonagall looked down and noticed the Zonko's bag in Pansy's hand.

"I wouldn't let Filch see that," she told the girl quietly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Of course not," Pansy smiled. She shared Clara's affection for the Gryffindor Head of House.

"Hope you're having a good time," Professor Lisney said, still looking at Clara, who was ignoring her pointedly.

"We're having a great time, but we actually are supposed to be meeting someone," Pansy said as she looked around, "Oh, here he is, bye, Professors!"

Pansy pushed Clara over to where Harry Potter was walking alone and they each grabbed one of his arms. He looked alarmed.

"We've been looking for you!" Clara said, laughing a little too loudly.

"You have?" Harry asked, confused.

"No, now shush and go with it," Pansy whispered. They walked arm in arm until they were headed down the path to the Shrieking Shack.

"Are you going to murder me?" Harry asked them casually. Pansy seemed to consider it.

"No, Harry," Clara smiled, "Sorry about that. Things are… weird with Professor Lisney. I had to get out of there."

The three broke apart.

"I get that. Snape was apparently in love with my mum, and it's _apparently_ considered a valid excuse for him to treat me like shit," Harry shook his head.

"That's stupid. Professor Lisney is my mother, so…"

"Are you serious?" Harry looked surprised, "Did she not tell you?"

"No… I actually hadn't seen her in years. She walked out on my dad and I when I was 8."

"Bloody hell, that's terrible. I'm sorry," Harry frowned.

"Why are you alone? I never see you away from your entourage," Pansy asked.

"They're probably snogging in Madam Puddifoots's," Harry told her disgustedly.

"I need to ask Pansy something, but I need to know if we can trust you," Clara told Harry, "So can we trust you?"

"Sure," Harry shrugged. Clara grinned and turned to Pansy.

"What are your plans for the dungbombs?"

"Just going to have a little fun," Pansy said innocently.

"Fun with who?" Clara asked.

"Just people. I'm not sure," Pansy shrugged.

"Draco?"

"Sure."

"Are you going to get in trouble?" Clara asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"Well, no. I won't get caught," Pansy scoffed, "Do I ever get caught?"

Clara had to admit that she didn't. The entire school knew about the Weasley twins from Gryffindor, who had dropped out last year in a blaze of glory after getting fed up with Umbridge's antics. Then there was Peeves, the Poltergeist who terrorized the entire school. No one, however, knew that beautiful, sophisticated Pansy Parkinson was the other school mischief maker. The others made mistakes, sloppy mistakes, that Pansy would never make. She knew better. It had started after a particularly messy prank by the twins. They had done a decent job of leaving no evidence, but they bragged too much. Filch interrogated seventeen students, and every single one of them said that the Weasley twins had done it. Pansy and Clara, second years at the time, had been embarrassed by their laziness. That was all it had taken. Pansy had never been particularly interested in jokes, but the opportunity to be better than someone else was her draw. She had planned out a fairly simple prank, involving dungbombs and balloons, and it had gone perfectly. Just to prove her theory that not telling every single person in school what you're doing would be enough to get away with it, she was sloppy with her evidence. Still, years later, no one knew she'd done it.

* * *

"Are we hanging out now?" Harry asked, looking confused about why they were still walking together.

"I'm okay with it," Clara shrugged. Pansy looked uncomfortable but quietly accepted his presence. They were heading back to the castle.  
Clara was nervous about bumping into her mother again, and Pansy was getting antsy, wanting to continue her research on Polyjuice Potion while the castle was empty and there were fewer questions to answer. A few Hufflepuffs were also going back early. From what Clara could gather from overhearing bits of the conversation, Draco had tripped one of the younger girls, causing her to fall into a display. She seemed very shaken and embarrassed, as the older kids kept putting their arms around her. The Hufflepuffs were always the easy targets, but Clara was happy that Pansy only used her prank skills on fellow Slytherins, and usually only the ones who bullied.

"Did I hear the name Draco?" Pansy called. The Hufflepuffs turned, a few of them looking scared at the sight of the Slytherins.

"We don't like him either," Clara clarified. They looked relieved, but still unsure.

"I just wanted to know your thoughts on a plan I have," Pansy smiled.

At this, they stopped and let the girls catch up. They also seemed to recognize Harry, who was much more trustworthy than the terrible Slytherins, so they relaxed.

"We dated, actually," Pansy looked ashamed, "But it was a low point in my life."

The younger girl smiled.

"I'm Clara," she held her hand out.

"I'm Pansy."

"Harry."

They shook hands and learned names. The youngest one was June, and she had been Draco's victim; her sister, Ellie, was a 4th year, who was dating Elias, a 5th year, who's best friend was Neal, another 5th year. Clara was polite, but she knew there was no way she would remember the sudden burst of information.

"We were in the Three Broomsticks earlier. Draco was there, with his trolls, and this... _girl_ comes up to him and kisses him," Pansy groaned and paused, apparently waiting for a group 'ugh'. She eventually got it.

"We only just broke up, and we were together all summer. Now, maybe I'm overreacting a bit, but I think that's a little rude of him. So I picked up some dungbombs, and I happen to know that there is a certain broom closet on the 4th floor where Mr. Malfoy takes his, shall we say, conquests," she raised her eyebrow, "so I have a little plan."

Clara was as clueless as the confused Hufflepuffs.

"All we have to do is find out when he will be bringing this week's tart to the closet of broken dreams. Then we can plant a dungbomb or two that will go off right as they…" she eyed the first year, "are least expecting it. Bam. Instant payback."

The Hufflepuffs looked excited. June looked up at Pansy and laughed, before her face turned stern, "I'm not 11. You can talk about sex."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I will… I will be more open next time," Pansy apologized awkwardly.

"Well, we need to be getting back. See you!" Ellie waved to the girls and the Hufflepuffs walked off ahead of them.

"Kids today," Pansy sighed.

"When did you come up with this plan?" Clara asked, still confused.

"About ten minutes ago," Pansy told her with a shrug.

"Did you actually see a girl with Draco?" asked Harry as they started walking.

"No, but I couldn't tell them the dungbombs were for a Professor, could I?" Pansy said nonchalantly. Harry looked excited.

"Wait, what?" Clara stopped again. Pansy just smiled.

"Please don't get us expelled."

Pansy laughed, "Clara, has anyone ever found out about one of my plans before?"

"No," Clara said uneasily.

"Then don't you worry, my dear."


End file.
